Mommy and Me Day

Between the ages of 4 months and 2 1/2 years my bug attended daycare five days a week because my husband and I were both working full time. It was something we had to do and it was fine. When I graduated residency in 2011 there was nearly a three month delay before I could start my new job and my bug stayed home with me - we had many ups and downs, but overall it was a welcome change from the hectic days of my training. From December 2011 until this past week my bug has been going to daycare/preschool three days per week and spending one full day and one half day with me. We've done lazy things (watched movies and took naps), creative things (painting and baking), adventurous things (day trips and nature walks), academic things (reading and writing), and boring things (appointments and errands), but we did them together.

This coming week my husband and I made the decision to put her back in a full time program to prepare for kindergarten next year. Part (most?) of me knows this is the right thing to do. She will definitely benefit academically by being in the classroom every day and I am looking forward to having some alone time to be with the baby bear - I took a very short maternity leave and have had very little time with the baby alone. The other part of me is grieving for my bug's rapidly progressing childhood. She's steadily growing up...and away. It is just as it should be, but it still is a little gut wrenching.

I don't regret the way things have been. I actually think we've done a decent job making memories and doing special things together no matter what our schedules were. And, I feel confident we will keep working hard to appreciate our time together. As a celebration of our past and future "mommy and me" time, I took the day off on Friday and took the bug out for the afternoon.

We declared it "her day!" and she got to call the shots. I picked her up from summer camp and told her I would take her out to lunch for anything she wanted, even if it was "junk food." As you can see, she took full advantage of my offer...

Cheese Pizza and Pink Lemonade!

When the NYS museum was open on Mondays (our full day together) we went at least once a month. Then they changed their hours and we really haven't been able to go much. She has been asking me to take her, so that was next on our agenda. As it was gorgeous out, we decided to take a walk around the Plaza before heading into the museum.

Post-pizza, pre-duck chasing pose

Our museum protocol: Carousel, exhibits, carousel

After a few hours at the museum it was nearly time to head home (the baby is still nursing and I was nearing 5 hours without feeding or pumping...), but I promised her one last treat before we came back to reality. After reviewing the options, she asked for soft serve ice cream...

It's definitely not "real food" when you order it by color instead of flavor, but it made her happy...

I'm still a little sad that she won't be with me on my days off, but I think we had a very joyful and special afternoon together to cap off the past two years.

Crazy Times

A year ago at this time I was nearing the end of my second pregnancy and worrying how I was going to adjust to having a 3 1/2 year old and a newborn. I thought it was going to be really hard. The baby came and...it was easy! The transition was nearly flawless. I took on weight loss, complex meal planning, big baking projects, and an increased work load in the office. I patted myself on the back thinking I had this whole working mother thing mastered. 9 months later things are hard.

My four year old is tackling some delayed jealousy issues leading to unpleasant acting out against the baby and regression of her own maturity. Just the other day she unpacked her sister's bathing suit and hid it so the baby couldn't go swimming at my parent's house when they were baby-sitting. She refers to her sister as "the monster" and asks if someone else can watch her all the time. Many nights at dinner she asks to wear a bib and tries to get me to spoon feed her instead of the baby. She's also back to fighting bedtime every single night and gets up in the middle of the night and comes in our room. So that's fun. And the baby? She still wakes up overnight at least 5 out of 7 nights looking to nurse, puts EVERYTHING in her mouth, and will not sit still and play with a toy for more than 30 seconds.

On a personal front my weight loss plateaued with diet changes alone and I signed up for a 5K Mud Run to get myself back to the gym. With all the above going on, the only way I can get there is to get up in the wee hours of the morning (which shortens my already hit and miss slumber) or rush from work to squeeze in a workout. The latter inevitably means dinner will be late and the kids will be whiny and snacking the whole time I cook leading to less consumption of the actual dinner. Which brings me to food. I'm still making a valiant effort to shop local and cook real food. That endeavor is sucking up the majority of any "excess" time I have in the hour after the kids go to bed and the hour before I collapse. 

As if that wasn't enough, did I mention that my patient load at work exploded at the same time our medical record system was updated leading to my inability to finish my charting as quickly and at least an hour of screen time at night to finish my patient notes? Or that our house is still on the market (which is a "surprise" according to the real estate agent that convinced us we were going to sell in a matter of days...) which means I am constantly cleaning to keep things in order for showings. And the icing on the cake? The lot we want to build on becomes available in about two weeks and we will have to start working with them on the designs for our new home. 

Where does my husband fit into all of this? He's here doing his very best to be helpful. He keeps up with the yard work for the house showings and can follow simple instructions for dinner, but the vast majority of his time is spent baby wrangling and stressing out about selling the house/building a new house/moving.

In summary, there's a lot going on. I want to blog because I have many great recipes, party ideas, and parenting tips to share, but I am worn quite thin these days. I'm waiting for the next great shift in family/work/home responsibilities to give me some breathing room...