Frustration

I've prepared about six "wedding recipe posts" that are just waiting for pictures of the delicious dishes to be added and blogger is giving me issues. All the photos I insert are sideways and I can't seem to flip them. I'll continue to play with it during nap time, but for now I just wanted to express my annoyance with my inability to control technology...

20 months

I can't believe that my bug is ANOTHER month older and how much she's changed again in such a short time. Here's the breakdown...

• My girl has definitely had a growth spurt and is getting taller and taller. I can tell because all of the 18 month pants that I used to have to roll up, are fitting perfect and even getting a bit short!
  
• Bug is having a much easier time going to sleep on her own these days. We bring her into her room, turn down the lights, sing a few songs, and then turn on her Fisher Price music and light projector and she goes right to sleep.
• It's hard to know where bug's appetite is at these days as she's had a rotten cold for over a week now and every meal is hit or miss.
• Her favorite characters are Elmo (she calls him "mo mo") and Pooh and she gets so excited when she finds toys, pictures, movies, etc that involve them.
• Bug HATES when I do anything with her hair. Bows, pigtails, and ponytails don't last for more than seconds.
• She loves to play "mommy" and carries her dolls around wrapped in blankets singing to them, gives them rides in the stroller, feeds them, and puts lotion on them.
• Bath time is a riot as bug likes to splash, "swim", dance, and generally do anything except get her hair washed.
• We're getting ready for Christmas and bug really seems to enjoy the decorations. Her favorite is the small blow-up Santa next to our front steps that she says "Hi" and "Ho ho ho" to whenever we come or go.
  

The good, the bad, and the just plain ugly

Due to my dear husband's constant requests, I've decided to post my review of the newest Harry Potter film. Beware there are SPOILERS GALORE if you have not yet seen the film or read the book.

The GOOD
I found the opening scenes of the movie which pictured Harry, Ron, and Hermione preparing for their departure from their respective homes a very fitting and moving way to set the tone for the rest of the movie. And, I won't lie, watching Hermione wipe her parent's memories had me in tears before the movie had even really started...

Although it was a departure from the book, I liked that Hedwig wasn't a "sitting duck" in her cage during the battle above Privet Drive and she was killed trying to protect Harry instead - it made her death more heroic than tragic.

Everything from Harry following the doe into the woods to Ron destroying the Horcrux was very true to the book and I thought it was depicted well.

The little "cartoon" to represent the Tale of the Three Brothers was a creative way to depict the story while Hermione was reading it and I really liked it.

The end of the movie was done very well and it felt like an appropriate breaking point. Dobby's demise was as heart-wrenching as it was in the book and Voldemort's triumph at retrieving Dumbledore's wand was chilling. It all set the stage well for the final movie.

The BAD
I found it unfortunate that the filmmakers chose to eliminate the "good-bye" sequence between Harry and the Dursleys. Having Harry and Dudley shake hands really brings closure to their relationship and I missed it in the movie.

I thought the film rushed through the stay at the Burrow. Cutting out the "ghoul in pajamas" underplays the lengths that Ron also went through to protect his family.

They rushed through the stay at Grimmauld Place far too quickly as well. I think this creates a "fatal flaw" in the plot as Hermione never takes the portrait of Phineas Nigellus with her. Without his picture in her bag there is no way for Snape to know that they are in the Forest of Dean later on in the story so that he can place the sword in the pond for Harry to find.

The Ministry of Magic scene was a disaster. Harry didn't rescue Moody's eye, it was awkward how Harry and Ron's characters charged into the questioning of Mrs. Cattermole, and it was ridiculous that the polyjuice potion wore off and Harry was able to just walk out of the ministry without any one of the hundreds of wizards present stopping him.

Another unfortunate omission from the movie was the Potterwatch radio show. Although not necessary for the plot, the show helped place everything that was going on with Harry in the woods into the larger prospective of the wizarding world and I missed it.

The UGLY
The first awkward moment of the movie to me was when all of the Order members arrived at Privet Drive. Bill Weasley introduces himself to Harry as if they have never met before. Although the filmmakers may have adjusted their scripts to eliminate interactions between their characters, in the books Harry has known Bill since The Goblet of Fire.

The incredibly awkward "dancing" scene with Harry and Hermione in the tent after Ron leaves should be lying on an editing room floor somewhere. This scene is not from the book because it is entirely inappropriate based on the sequence of events preceding it and does not fit the personalities of the characters at all.

The capture scene after they escape from the Lovegood's house makes absolutely no sense. Unlike in the book where Harry saying Voldemort (breaking the taboo) allows the snatchers to invade their camp, in the movie the snatchers just appear out of nowhere. It just doesn't fit that they would be caught then when they were never caught before.

I'm sure I'll think of more, but those were the issues that were most obvious to me. If you've made it through, congrats! Please make sure to remind me what a huge dork I am the next time you see me in person:-)

Thankful

I've enjoyed reading bits and pieces of the "thankful game" that's been going around Facebook this month, but haven't had the time to play along. I know I have A LOT to be thankful for, so I've decided to do my own version on here! In no particular order, I am thankful for...

1. My healthy little bug
2. My husband
3. My sister
4. My parents
5. My husband's parents
6. Our huge crazy extended family

7. 24/7 Dunkin' Donuts in the hospital

8. Great nurses

9. Stormy and moe.

10. The best best friend

11. Supportive co-residents

12. My education

13. Summer trips to the mountains

14. JK Rowling and the entire HP series

15. Sleep

16. Live music

17. Digital photography

18. Fresh local produce
19. Comfortable shoes

20. Takeout from Karavali

21. My health

22. Hot showers

23. Attendings that want to teach

24. My home

25. Vacations in Disney World

I may have said the above list is in no particular order, but how can this little bug not be the #1 thing I am thankful for this year?

19 months

I took a break from this feature for a few months (to say I've been busy would be the understatement of the year), but I'm back with a bug update at 19 months.

• At her last doctor's appointment bug was situated right about the 45th% for both height and weight and 30th% for head circumference
• Also at her doctor's appointment she got her flu vaccine. Anyone with a baby over 6 months should call their doctor's office and schedule their little one for the vaccine as well - infants and the elderly are the populations most at risk for serious complications from the flu!!
• Bug still loves her fruits and veggies. She's finally expanded her veggie "likes" to include broccoli, but her favorites are still carrots and peas.
• Soup is the next big thing in our house. Bug has decided she loves soup - everything from won ton to chicken noodle to minestrone to potato and leek!
• After a slow start with her speech, bug's vocabulary is expanding on a daily basis and she often suprises us with new words.
• Bug still loves to dance, but her moves now include out of control twirling until she's so dizzy she falls over and mini bopping (not quite jumping) movements that she punctuates by yelling, "hop! hop!"
• Bug continues to love music. In addition to dancing, she also tries to sing ala "Boo" from Monster's Inc.
• "Cooking" is bug's new favorite game. She likes to fill her toy pots and pans with leaves (outdoors) or cereal (indoors) and pretend to cook. I think I've got a future top chef on my hands...

I have to say that although being a mommy to a 19 month old is exhausting, it's also just about the most fun I could imagine. There is just something about that little smile and voice that make life so much more meaningful. Her smiles and giggles make my day and her little cries break my heart. She's amazing and I'm so glad that her daddy and I get to go on this journey of growing up with her.

Mommy Power Hour

Anyone who went to college knows what a real "power hour" is, but I've found myself using this term to refer to the frenzied hour I spend trying to "catch up" on the rare occasions when I get home before my husband and baby bug.

For example, this past week I got out of work at 3:45pm. I have a 30 minute commute home, made a quick stop at Roma's for lunch supplies, and was in the door at 4:30pm - exactly 1 hour before daddy and bug were due to arrive home. That's right - it was mommy power hour time!

In a flash, I was out of my gross hospital scrubs and into my Disney "Kitchen Princess" apron. Within minutes, there was a salted pot of water on the stove heating up and a load of bug's laundry was sudsing up in the washer. As the water slowly reached boiling point, I attacked the veggie crisper digging out two bunchs of broccoli, a half dozen mushrooms, and a lone red pepper. Minutes later the pasta was happily bubbling away and, with the addition of a medium white onion and many cloves of minced garlic, my veggies were roughly chopped and ready to be doused in olive oil, salt, and pepper before making their way into the oven to roast.

With thirty minutes already gone, I forged ahead with the roux for my "grown up" mac and cheese (nutmeg and a dash of cayenne pepper added to the flour) by melting the butter while I furiously grated two blocks of cheddar cheese. As if I had planned it (trust me, it was sheer coincidence, I'm not that good), the timer on the oven and the washer went off simultaneously giving me a pan of beautifully roasted veggies and a load of perfectly laundered onesies and socks in a moment of domesticated bliss. Out came the veggies - in went the mac and cheese.

The poise of the situation was lost as I then loudly barreled down the basement steps to move bug's clothes to the dryer and scattered cat food across the floor as I attempted to fill the dish far too quickly. Alas, I had no time to cry over split milk (or bits of cat food) - my hour was drawing to a close! In a last ditch effort to finish on a high point, I scrambled from room to room picking up toys, straightening books, depositing dirty clothes in the proper bins, and wiping down sticky surfaces.

And then, it was 5:30. I heard the sounds of crunching gravel as daddy and bug pulled into the driveway. Hurriedly, I ran a brush through my hair and gulped a glass of water just as the front door opened and my husband's voice rang out, "Guess who's home?"

Now that's what I call a power hour!

Tips

I know a few posts ago I was quite down on myself after a really hard month at work. I wouldn't say I've fully rebounded from it yet, but now that I have a little bit of perspective I'd like to share a few things that I did keep up with that helped me stay (somewhat) afloat. Hopefully this will help some other working mommies/busy ladies out there...

Food
*Plan at least two meals that you can make on your day off and re-heat later in the week when time is short (my favs are Annie's Grandma's Mac and Cheese, Mom-in-law's Ham and Scalloped potatoes, Veggie chili, and/or any type of soup)
*Make packing breakfast easy by baking a loaf of banana/pumpkin/zucchini bread on your day off. Once it cools, slice and wrap pieces so it's ready to toss into your lunch bag
*Another easy breakfast option - fill little ziploc containers with granola or muesli and pair with a cup of yogurt (I chose Stoneyfield organics)
*Keep the freezer full of frozen vegetables (bug's favorite are Organic Mixed Veggies with carrots, corn, peas, and green beans)

Chores
*Pick one room every few days to "spot clean" (ie wipe down all the surfaces in the kitchen with a clorox wipe, run a sponge around the sink and bathtub, run the vaccuum through the living room) and plan a real hardcore clean-up when your schedule allows
*Do one load of laundry every few days so that it doesn't pile up and take all day on your day off (take advantage of your washer's delay timer if you are lucky enough to have one so you can have your clothes ready to move to the dryer when you get home)

Family time
*First tactic is to take advantage of "known" free time and plan something fun to do in advance (ie apple picking, pumpkin patch, out to dinner, picnic, local festivals, arts and crafts)
*Appreciate the smaller moments (read a book, run around in the backyard, finger paint, play some music and dance together)

You
*This is probably the area I fail most miserably, but the one thing I usually do to keep myself sane when life is getting out of hand is to treat myself a cup of coffee. In other words, find a small indulgence that helps and (this is the key) let yourself have it without guilt.

Pumpkin Bread

I love the fall. Like, really, really love the fall. And when it really gets down to it my favorite thing about fall is probably PUMPKIN. Pumpkin lattes, pumpkin beer, the pumpkin patch, pumpkin scones, pumpkin spice coffee, roasted pumpkin seeds, carving pumpkins, etc!

In tribute to my favorite flavor of the fall, here is my recipe for pumpkin bread that I've twisted and tweaked into perfection:-)

Ingredients

• 15 oz of canned pumpkin
• 3 eggs (I use cage free, vegetarian fed, omega-3 eggs)
• 2/3 cup of oil (I use Smart Balance cooking oil)
• 1 cup of apple cider
• 1 1/2 cups of sugar
• 3 1/2 cups flour (I use whole wheat white flour)
• 2 tsp baking soda
• 2 tsp+ ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp+ ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp+ ground nutmeg

*I put a "+" next to the spices because I tend to have a generous hand with them*

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees and prepare two loaf pans or one loaf pan and 6 muffins.
• Mix first five ingredients together (I use my stand mixer).
• In a separate bowl, whisk all of your dry ingredients and spices together.
• Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in three allotments. Each time, blend just until incorporated.
• Divide your batter between the two loaf pans. If making muffins, add a heaping 1/2 cup of batter to each of 6 muffins and pour the rest of the batter into the loaf pan.
• Bake loaves for approximately 45-60 minutes. I usually set a timer for 45 minutes and see if a knife inserted in the center of the loaf comes back clean. If not, I set a timer for 5 minutes and follow the same routine until it's done.

*You can make this recipe more exciting if you add mini-chocolate chips, raisins, dried cranberries, and/or chopped walnuts*

Hard Times

I know, I posted something almost three weeks ago revealing all of these wonderful plans I had to "manage my time" and make glamorous posts about how awesome I am at just about everything there is to be awesome at in life. Well, guess what? Those posts never came. Not because I didn't do my best every single day to meet those lofty goals and objectives I set for myself, but because I have a serious problem. Despite trying really, really hard for the past month, I've done nothing but disappoint myself. Everything I've done feels sub-par and glossed over.

I'm upset about every piece of produce that spoiled in the veggie crisper because I simply forgot it was there. I'm annoyed about each time I forgot to update the NICU census with the newest feed schedule and was forced to admit, "It's really 25ml every 3 hours, not 20ml", and watch everyone scribble in the correction. I'm mocked by the misaligned pattern on the hat I knitted for my daughter that I just "let slide" because I was too tired to rip out the seam and start over. I'm sick over the nights that I fell asleep 15 minutes after the baby and lost the only alone time I had with my husband. And finally, I'm embarrassed that the one family function I had the time to attend was punctuated by my arrival with the simplest dessert known to man that I presented in Gladware.

To a normal person, none of those things would matter much. But to me, they all stand out in my mind the way my daugther stands out in a crowd when her Daddy dresses her (my attempt at humor in an otherwise depressing post).

No, this isn't a bid for people to reassure me that I "did a good job." Deep down I know I did everything I could to be the best mom, best wife, and best resident I could be, but it's just part of me to always be a little underwhelmed by myself. That's just how I am and I needed a place to vent my frustrations. Honestly, I think I feel a little bit better now.

Time Crunch

Being a mom isn't easy.
Being a good mom is even harder.
But being a good working mom sometimes feels impossible.

Right now, I'm working long hours in the neonatal intensive care unit. I'm learning new things every day and trying to make a difference in some very tiny babies' lives, but this means a lot of time away from home. I work 6am-8pm most weekdays, plus Friday 24-hour calls every other weekend alternating with Sunday 7am-8pm shifts. I do get the "gift" of an early night once a week and get home around 5pm. Here is the insane breakdown of how my days look:

5am-6am - shower, get dressed, make lunches, leave home
6:30am-7:45pm - NICU
8:15pm-9:00pm - bug playtime
9:00pm-9:30pm - bug bedtime routine
9:30pm-10:30pm - relax time with hubby
10:30 pm- pass out in exhaustion

That's right. I have roughly ONE HOUR each night with my bug. I also have what amounts to ZERO time to prepare meals or clean during the week. It would be so easy (and, I think, understandable) if I were to just admit that this schedule has me beat. Then I could let the laundry pile up, stock the fridge with frozen meals, and lay comatose on the floor while the bug pulls my hair and piles blocks on my stomach. But that's not good enough for me. And it's certainly not good enough for my hubby and my bug who deserves so much more. To try and avoid the pitfalls of a schedule like this, I've set some goals for myself.

We're going to plan a silly fun activity to do together as a family on my one free night each week, fill our Saturdays with quality time, and I'm going to plan, organize, and prep all of our meals each weekend during naptime so that we can eat fresh, local, healthy food as often as possible.

I've had these goals in mind since the NICU started, but haven't had a chance to post them. I'll chime in each week with what we did and how the meal planning went...

A Day in the Life

If you've ever wondered what a pediatric resident really does, here's the recap of my day today:

• 1:30am: Bug wakes up thirsty and doesn't want to go back to sleep without cuddles. I fall asleep with her on the couch.
• 4:50am: My husband wakes me up to let me know my alarm just went off in the bedroom.
• 4:55am: Bug is back in her crib. Time to shower and get dressed.
• 5:30am: Time to pour and label the bug's milk for daycare and make lunch for my husband.
• 5:45am: Last minute scramble through the house (in the dark) to find my keys, bag, and sunglasses.
• 5:50am: Friday morning indulgence - Dunkin Donuts for an iced apple cider and egg and cheese muffin sandwich.
• 6:20am: Arrival to the NICU to start pre-rounding on my babies (checking their vitals, calculating urine outputs, figuring out fluid status).
• 7:00am: Night team signs out the major overnight events.
• 7:35am: Finish recording the vitals, check in with the nurses, and quickly examine my babies.
• 8:15am: Arrive late to Case Management conference to hear a case from the previous fall about a patient with an interesting H1N1 complication (this is when I actually ate that egg and cheese sandwich I purchased two hours previously...).
• 9am: Back to the NICU for rounds with the Neonatology fellow and my two interns. Rounds were complicated as the interns were discharging three patients with complicated prescriptions and one of the fellow's babies was found to have a very bad complication and needed emergent interventions.
• 12:30pm: I escape from rounds to write some last minute orders, update my patients on the sign out list, scribble my notes, and dash to the cafeteria for a sandwich.
• 12:50pm: Arrive at the outpatient clinic to see I have 9 patients crammed into my schedule between 1-4pm and there are no free computers in the resident room (we have electronic records). I devour my sandwich while standing at a computer station in the room we use for pelvic exams (you eat when you can in medicine).
  
• 4:45pm: I breath a sigh of relief. Somehow I managed to see two sick visits, one surgical clearance visit, two well child visits, and one teen visit in less than four hours (two of my patients didn't show up and a helpful second year resident took my last newborn weight check as he had a lighter schedule).
• 5:15pm: I finish dictating and get my bum out of the office as fast as I can. My husband and I have a quick conversation and decide to treat ourselves to take-out so I don't have to cook when I get home. I grab a bottle of bubbly (just because) while the take-out cooks.
  
• 6:15pm: Home! Once my in-laws leave, we eat our disgustingly unhealthy takeout and heat up some leftover homemade lasagna and frozen veggies for the bug.
• 6:45pm: Damage control - time to wash dishes, clean up the big mess under the bug's high chair, and clean up the bug.
• 7:20pm: Impromptu trip to the Fresh Market (my husband's first time there!)
• 8pm: The hardest part of the night - undressing the bug, changing her inevitably messy diaper, washing her up, and getting her redressed in pajamas while she fights like a mad woman
  
• 8:15pm: Silly time with the bug and husband - dancing, singing, wiggling, and lots of time spent trying to take things away from the bug that she isn't supposed to have (knitting needles, scissors, my reflex hammer, the cat's tail, etc)
• 9pm: Buggy bedtime! Bug and I lay in bed while I read her a book. I sing a few songs and settle her into her crib just as she's about to drift off to dreamland.
• 9:30pm: Quick assessment of the bug damage - winter hat, 1st birthday cards, baby powder, nasal saline, and protective ear muffs for loud noises are strewn about the living room. I decide to deal with it in the morning and crack open the bottle of bubbly...
• 10:45pm: Bottle of bubbly is gone and I barely remember the stress of the morning NICU rounds. Time to cuddle with the husband and enjoy the rest of the weekend...
  

Dork with a Capital D

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a big dork. No, not the movie version of a "dork" who takes off her glasses, pulls out her ponytail, and automatically transforms into head cheerleader. I'm the kind of dork who runs out of time playing Scattergories trying to come up with the most obscure Harry Potter references possible and has seriously considered throwing a birthday party for her cat. That in mind, I think one of the dorkiest things about me has to be how inappropriately giddy I feel this time of year.

I don't care that I've been out of school for over two years and will (likely) never be a full time student again. The end of the summer will always mean one thing to me - BACK TO SCHOOL. As the days get shorter and the nights get cooler, I have an insane desire to purchase new sneakers and fill my good old LL Bean backpack with freshly sharpened pencils, 5 subject notebooks, multi-colored index cards, and brand new highlighters. And most of all, I yearn to walk across the picturesque campus of Boston College again with a stack of newly purchased textbooks and the chance to daydream about all the new things I have the opportunity to learn. I know, it's crazy, but so very, very true.

And that's why I'm a dork with a capital D.

Healthier Zucchini Bread

I love this time of year for fresh local produce. One of the most abundant items available right now at the farm markets and stands seems to be zucchini. As my little bug loves banana bread, I thought I'd give zucchini bread a try instead. Per my usual routine, I scoured my favorite cookbooks as well as Allrecipes.com for a good recipe to try. This is the top rated recipe from Allrecipes. Below you will find my modifications to make it healthier.

Modified Recipe (changes in italics)

• 1 1/2 cups unbleached white flour
• 1 1/2 cups organic whole wheat flour
• no salt
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 3+ tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp allspice
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 cup applesauce
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 cup splenda
• 3 tsp vanilla extract
• 3 cups grated zucchini
  no nuts

Bake in two loaf pans (greased or sprayed with cooking spray) at 325 for 40-60 minutes. Enjoy!

Sunday Dinner

Well, not really. We had this for dinner on Friday, but it very well could make a simple and delicious Sunday dinner.

The story behind this meal is that I've been trying really hard to purchase only antibiotic free, vegetarian or grass fed meat. Now that Fresh Market has opened, this should hopefully be a little easier, but one of the only meats available at Hannaford when I went shopping last week was an all natural country style pork rib. After a quick google search for "country style pork rib recipes" I found this recipe. I can never stick with a recipe, so this is how I adapted it:

• I washed the ribs (just 1lb) and placed them in a pan coated with foil
• Instead of cooking spray, I drizzled them with olive oil and sprinkled them with pepper

• For the rub, I mixed together 1 tablespoon of brown sugar and 1tsp of cajun seasoning

• Then, I rubbed the mixture into all sides of the ribs

• Finally, I folded up the corners of the foil to create a pouch and baked for 60 minutes at 325 (I think it could have been cut back to 45 minutes if you have less time to let it brew)

• For the BBQ sauce, I made it exactly as posted on the original recipe, except I omitted the onion powder because I didn't have any.
• I opened up the foil packet after the 60 minutes and brushed about 1/4 cup of the BBQ sauce over the ribs and baked for 15 more minutes with the pouch open.
  
• I saved the rest for of the BBQ sauce for dipping with the meal.
  

And that was the end result!
I served the pork with frozen baby peas from Trader Joe's,
leftover sweet potato hash,
and some rice.

How to be a good patient

After spending the last three weeks working only in our outpatient clinic, I've decided that the general public needs a little education on what pediatrician's schedules really look like and how not to make our lives miserable

• On average, your physician probably has 30 minutes to see your child for a "routine" well child visit
• The sick visit that you request for your child is likely slotted for 15 minutes (or less)
• There is no wiggle room in your doctor's schedule - in other words, appointments are booked at 9am, 9:15, 9:30, etc.
• Just because you booked your kids for back-to-back appointments does not mean you can arrive at the second allotted time and still be "on time"
  
• If you arrive at 9:15 for your 9am appointment, you've now made it so that your doctor is going to be late seeing every single other patient on his/her schedule
  
• On the flip side, if your doctor arrives to see you at 3pm for your 2:15pm appointment, it's not because he/she was sitting around eating fine chocolate and chatting about the latest episode of True Blood. It's most likely because some bozo arrived late for their visit
• It's poor etiquette to book a late visit (that your doctor is sitting around waiting for) and then NO SHOW
  

While I'm on the subject of ways to make your pediatrician less miserable, please don't call the after hours EMERGENCY phone service for any of the following reasons (unless you want your pediatrician to reconsider the merits of a job at Starbucks over administering any further medical care to such a thankless populace):

• Routine medication refills - if your kid is sleeping comfortably and not having any symptoms, you probably don't need me to call in a script at 10pm for an inhaler that you aren't going to pick up until the next day anyway
  
• To complain that the office was too busy to see your child when you called at 1pm wanting an appointment that afternoon during peak flu season.
  
• To inform me that you think your child may have broken a bone, but aren't going to go to the ER because your other kids are sleeping
• To ask my advice on what to do because your child pooped a lot after eating a bunch of junk food
• To ask me to have your child's medical records copied to send to a new office because you are moving in a few months

Lest I sound like a jerk poking fun at some of the more ridiculous situations I've encountered, I have to say that it takes very little to actually make me glad I chose medicine as a profession. Whenever a patient takes my advice to heart or sincerely says "thank you", it makes my day.

Gettin' Crafty

That's right, the sewing machine queen that managed to fund many aspects of her wedding by slaving over piles of fabric and producing dozens of totes is ready to jump back into the saddle with a new and exciting project after a pregnancy/residency/new mommyhood forced hiatus.

This year I am planning to make my daughter's Halloween costume. Yes, I know that Halloween is over two months away, BUT my work schedule will explode from a 40 to an 80 hour work week as of September 2nd and I want to get a head start. I took advantage of a morning away from clinic to start browsing and get the creative juices flowing.

After a quick visit to my fav fabric mega-store, Joann's, I emerged with a plan to create the perfect costume for my blue-eyed, blonde-haired bug beauty - Tinkerbell! Simplicity sells an official Disney Fairies pattern, but I decided to get more creative (and practical). I purchased a really cute pattern based on the popular "pillowcase dress" silhouette and am planning to make the dress out of green fleece fabric (for warmth!) with some sparkle embellishments. I'll post my progress when I get started.

Here's looking back to last Halloween at the cutest bug you'll ever meet...

16 months

I've gathered that this is a common feature on a lot of mommy blogs, but I'll give credit to my friend Kelly of Life with Monster who I got the idea from - Thanks Kelly!

My Baby Bug at 16 months

• Bug weighs just about 22lbs which puts her around the 25 percentile where she seems to have settled out over the past 6 months.
• When Bug wakes up in the morning she can usually be heard "chatting" with her Build-A-Bear cat, Abby.
• Her favorite foods these days are watermelon, cheddar cheese, peas, carrots, corn on the cob, sliced ham, pasta with red sauce, chocolate, Trader Joe's cat cookies, and ice pops (check out Popsicle Mighty Minis, they are the perfect size for toddlers).
• Bug loves our cat moe. SO MUCH that I feel really bad for the poor thing. Whenever she can, Bug corners moe. and literally collapses onto her to give her a "hug." Miraculously, moe. doesn't scratch her and just rides it out.
  
• She is walking/running really well these days. One of her favorite things to do is to run around the house yelling like a maniac.
• Bug LOVES music and will dance to everything from the loud Phish music Daddy likes to blare all weekend to the silly lottery commercial with the teeny bunny rabbits.
• She recognizes The Children's Place and starts wailing the second I walk in. I guess that's her way of telling me I spend too much time there.
• I think it's finally over, but we've had a not so nice run of biting. Bug would snuggle up like she was cuddling, and then CHOMP into my shoulder/arm/chest leaving welts - ouch!
  
• Bug is not a tidy girl when it comes to eating. She throws her sippy cup splashing milk all over the floor and walls, hides food down the front of her shirt, and rubs spaghetti sauce/ketchup/yogurt through her hair.
  
• When Bug is getting sleepy at night she likes to pull and twist her eyelashes. It seems to soothe her and helps her fall asleep.
  

Breaking the silence...

I love to blog - share recipes, get my frustrations from daily life out, and talk about health topics that interest me, BUT I tend to get lazy. I think about a blog post that I want to make all day, and then the craziness of being a resident all day and mommy to a 16 month old crazy bug all night just exhausts me. Usually it's to the point that once the dinner dishes are washed, the toys are picked up, tomorrow's dinner is prepped in the fridge, and I've fold laundry/wiped down counters/tackled dust bunnies I am unwilling to even peel myself off the couch to take the five step journey to the sofa table that houses our laptop. For what it's worth, I'm going to try to post more often. And, after continuing to read many of my favorite blogs despite my own cyber-silence, I'll be trying to add some of my own regular features.

So, if you can handle the possible disappointment if I fail to tend to my blog (yet again), hang on as I start up again...

Working Mama drama

Please don't let this post offend you, it's really meant to be an attempt at creative writing with a bit of truth at the expense of all new moms out there (myself included).

Everyone I talk to seems like they can't stop complaning about balancing being a "mom" versus making the transition to being a "working mom". So here are my thoughts on some of the complaints I've heard the most:

1. But I MISS him/her.
Really?! You miss the baby that you spent months (maybe years) planning for, 9 months growing, and another 1-3 months nurturing during your maternity leave?! Did you think you wouldn't miss them?! For real?! We all miss our babies when we go back to work! We cry and are sad and feel like the worst mommy in the world. And we can whine all we want and try to explain why our misery is the most miserablest misery out there, but what does that do for us? Take all that pent up mommy anguish and channel it into a photo album to bring to work with you (you know you have THE CUTEST baby in the world, why not show him/her off?), look up the words to some lullabies (I know I started humming after the second verse of Hush Little Baby til I looked up the words), or plan a family trip to utilize the time you DO have together .

2. Breast-feeding is going to be impossible!
If you started breast-feeding in the first place it's because you knew that providing your baby with the best nutrition out there was a priority for you. Don't let the thought of someone seeing you carrying a freezer bag of your breastmilk or hearing your pump going in the bathroom and awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you dissuade you. Ponder these "made-up" situations and tell me that a determined mom can't go back to work on ANY schedule, deal with any number of weird situations, and still breast-feed through the first year of life:
- Coming home at the end of your day exhausted and pumping before bed to make the morning bottles
- Having a VERY fixed (ie could end at any moment) lunch break to pump, eat, complete paperwork, and answer pages
- Pumping in a busy emergency room bathroom with someone pounding on the door that their kid needs to pee NOW
- Taking half of the only hour you might have to sleep during a 27 hour period to pump
- Having your pump break during a 26 hour period away from your baby and manually pumping until someone fixes it
- Continuing to get up every 4 hours even when the baby is sleeping all night because you need to pump to keep up because of the long stretches it is literally impossible to get away at work to pump
- Begging family to visit your place of work during long shifts to pick up bottles you've pumped so there is no chance the baby will run out

So, stop thinking about how hard it will be and make a plan! I don't care if it means spending half your time attached to a cord, pump often and pump early while you are still home to avoid running low. Have a back-up battery/plug in your nursing supply kit in case you have the distinct misfortune to drop your plug at precisely the right angle that the prongs pop out rendering said plug completely and utterly useless. Scope out your workplace and find an area that is visited less frequently to avoid explaining why you make a motor sound when you pee. And, when you feel stressed, look at your little one and remember why you are doing it in the first place (refer back to my previous posts on the benefits of breast milk....) Convinced yet? You can do!

3. I wish I could just stay home with him/her!
Once again, I can't imagine there is a mom out there who hasn't had this thought - especially in the beginning. The picture of a perfectly groomed 1950s housewife holding a basket of fresh baked goods in one arm and bouncing a giggling baby on her hip with the other arm can be an intoxicating image to an overtired, emotional wreck of a post-partum woman. But, really?! Is telling every single person you meet (including the bagger at the supermarket with Down's syndrome) that you just went back to work, but would MUCH rather be home being a mom accomplish anything for you emotionally, physically, or literally? No!

The truth of the matter is that not everyone is meant to be a working mom (or a stay at home mom for that matter). If the thought of staying home is something that you just can't get out of your head, you need to do some serious exploration into your goals, motivation, and lifestyle to do what's best for your family. This is gonna get you a lot farther than telling the homeless man that asked you for a dollar how stressed you are that daycare forgot to record the 3pm diaper change - was it pee or a BM?!

And, if you do decide to make the flip (which might be the most wonderful amazing thing in the world for you), remember not to get all holier-than-thou on those of us staying in the "working mom and wouldn't give it up for the world" camp. No matter how we spend our days, we can still get together and playgroup the heck out of any Saturday.

Wedding Recipe #4: Cajun Chicken Pasta

I'm back with another recipe! I have been making at least one recipe each week per my original plan, but my busy schedule (a whole other topic) has kept me from posting more regularly. Anyway, here we go!

This recipe came from Sarah, one of the bridesmaids in my wedding. Sarah and I met on the very first day of college as we were "tripled" together with our third roomate, Annie (her recipe will be coming soon!) at BC. Although at first glance Sarah and I appear to be polar opposites (I'm the nerdy brunette and she's the beautiful blonde supporting me by wearing the "way too big for her" patchwork outfit I made), we soon found that we had a lot more in common than we ever would have imagined and became good friends. She's the type of person that I know I could call and have a great conversation with even if we haven't been in touch for a long time.

The recipe I have to share from Sarah actually reminds me of her- it's colorful, creative, and has quite a bit of spice;-)! My husband loved this recipe and said that it "tastes like something you'd get out at a good restaurant" which is a pretty big compliment from him.

If you prepare this recipe completely as written be prepared that it will be HOT. I left out the extra teaspoon of cayenne in hopes of keeping the dish more "kid-friendly", but it still was way too spicy to let my little one try it.

Overall, it was a great dish that I will be making again when I have some time to prep all the ingredients.