Scrubs

I remember a time back in high school when one of my close friends was admitted to the hospital for a surgical procedure. Before she was discharged, she asked if she could have a pair of scrubs. Her doctors graciously obliged. We weren't exactly the coolest kids in high school, but when she came back to school wearing those scrubs it made her all kinds of special. At that point, the only logical equation I could come up with was (dorky chick + scrubs) = new found coolness.

Bearing this in mind, I could not wait to get my hands on some scrubs when I started medical school. In those first few months, I proudly wore my scrubs as I lounged around studying my 500+ page syllabus in the local Starbucks. How could that not be cool? Then, scrubs became our official uniform for Gross Anatomy lab and the deconstruction of their coolness began. Not to get too graphic, but walking out of lab with bits of human flesh reeking of formaldehyde stuck to my pants was just not quite as awesome anymore.

Flash forward 3 years to the start of intern year and scrubs took on an even more ominous connotation. During residency scrubs mean night float, ICU rotations, and 24+ hour calls - all things that I enjoy about as much as seeing Jenny McCarthy poison the public with her insane ficticious theories about vaccines and autism. Simply put, my new equation is (overtired dorky girl + scrubs) = overtired dorky girl in crappy clothes.

As always happens at the end of a scrub month, I've come to LOATHE them even more. In case your only knowledge of scrubs is from the TV show Scrubs, you need to know the truth about "real" doctors' scrubs. They are not cute and perfectly form fitting. They do not come in a variety of fun and flashy colors. In fact, they are super unflattering squarish shaped pieces of clothing made from scratchy, stiff fabric. The current AMC color is a pale teal that is see-thru in the right natural lighting. As they are "unisex" (i.e. made for men) even the small size has an inseam that would extend halfway down my thigh if I didn't roll the top. Of course, by rolling the top they become too short and every time I sit my freakishly pale sun-deprived ankles are exposed.

Isn't it funny how an atricle of clothing that once captivated me with its apparent coolness inspires nothing but cold hatred and dread due only to the passage of time and a little bit of life experience?