- At home, I felt like my husband and I were talking about my first pregnancy all the time. We discussed names for a much longer time, talked about what baby gear we needed, and went through a lot more of the excitement and fears of "new parents."
- This second time around, we barely discussed the fact that I was even pregnant until much later. I think some of that came from anxiety over the loss I had in between pregnancies and the threatened loss at the beginning of this pregnancy, some came from being busier around the house with a 3 year old, and some came from the comfort zone of "knowing what to expect."
- At work, last time I felt like my baby bump was akin to a big, burning scarlet letter. I was an intern doing my residency and when I revealed my pregnancy to my chief residents because I needed a few hours off to get the quad screen ultrasound, they refused. After that, I was afraid to allow my pregnancy to be seen as a sign of weakness and didn't ask for any special treatment until I finally broke down and asked (under medical advisement) NOT to do a 24 hour call at 38+ weeks.
- During this pregnancy my work has been amazing! They have been completely flexible about what I want to do for maternity leave, how I want my patients scheduled, and are constantly offering to cut back my hours or responsibilities if I feel I need a break.
- During bug's pregnancy I struggled a lot with how my body was "letting me down." I am naturally a busy person and didn't like how tired and achy my body got and felt very antagonistic towards what was happening a lot of the time. I really didn't like being pregnant because I felt like it was stopping me from being me. Probably also due to the attitude I encountered at work, I felt I couldn't ever take it down a notch or ask for help which made me more stressed.
- I think I was prepared for that to happen again this time and have been pleasantly surprised that it hasn't. The pregnancy itself has been similar (reflux a little worse, weight gain a little less), but I feel more in sync with my body and do what I can and accept the times I need to back off.
- Prepping for a baby was a lot harder (although more exciting) last time because we were starting from scratch. When getting ready for bug, we had to accumulate all the "baby stuff" which meant numerous shopping trips for nursery furniture, researching and refining registry choices, baby showers, and SO many thank you notes.
- This time we literally have everything. We didn't even think about setting up the nursery or the bassinet or anything until about two weeks ago when we realized she could actually be born and come home any day. Then, it was a matter of dusting things off that were in the basement and collecting other things from where they were being stored at grandparent houses. So much easier, but a bit anti-climactic.
All of the other differences aside, I think the absolute biggest contributing factor to what made this pregnancy different was having bug around. She has made this pregnancy harder in many ways - I can't just flop on the couch and do nothing at the end of the night, I don't get much "alone time" to re-group, and I am constantly picking up her little girl messes that don't bother Daddy, but drive me insane. On the other hand, she has been a fresh new person to share the fun and excitement with and her reactions to my pregnancy have been some of my favorite moments. I love to see her face light up when she feels the baby kick. I crack up every time she tells me to open my mouth so she can "talk to her sister." And my husband and I have shared more than a few giggles at her attempts to understand breast-feeding (she nurses her dolls and gets very concerned about why I don't have milk for her sister yet...).
So as this pregnancy draws to a close, I have to say it's had it's own challenges and I'll be happy when it's over, but I feel much more at peace and content at this stage then I did 3 1/2 years ago...
No comments:
Post a Comment