Forgive me

I need 5 minutes to rant because I just can't take it anymore. People need to stop comparing and competing their kids (and babies!!)

Every parent in the world thinks their kid is the cutest thing to ever appear on the planet earth. Every spit bubble, spaghetti face, and dance move is ADORABLE. In addition to being the cutest baby ever their baby is probably the earliest walker too. If not the earliest, definitely the most stable. Did I forget to mention that this same beautiful, master of balance also says more words at a year of age than any other kid in the history of the world?! And trust me, it doesn't stop there! Before the kid even knows how to use the potty (which they will do well before any other kid does), the parents are pretty sure they can tell their genius baby is presidential material from the way they shift in their sleep during conversations about politics.

Obviously I'm exaggerating (a little), but you all know what I am talking about. The problem isn't that parents think these things to themselves. Honestly, I think all parents should think their kid is the absolute best thing in the world. And they should post their pictures and videos with delight and vigor on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever social media outlet appeals to them. The problem is when people are so obtuse that they forget that every other parent thinks their kid is awesome and the best too. This inevitably leads to the competition factor that is driving me INSANE.

Let's role play a scenario. Mama A was just at the playground with her son, little B. She took a photo of him on the swings and posts it to Facebook with the caption, "Mommy's cutie enjoying the sunshine! Aren't I lucky?" All her friends see the photo and agree! He's a cute baby. She's a lucky mom. Everyone feels warm, fuzzy, happy thoughts and moves on with their day.

Elsewhere on Facebook Mama C takes her daughter, little D, to the museum. She posts a video of D pointing at the mastodon exhibit saying something that might be mastodon with the caption, "I'm the luckiest mom in the whole world because I have the most beautiful AND the smartest baby girl ever!" All her friends see the video and get annoyed. If Mama C is the luckiest mom in the world and little D is the cutest and smartest that means that they lost the kid lottery and got stuck with a sub-par model. No parent wants to believe their kid is inferior so they start thinking about all the ways Mama C is wrong and how their kid is way better.

The vicious cycle continues as the kids get older. When the babies are little, the drama is just at the mama level. Snide comments looking at Facebook or talking on the phone to another mom or family member don't get through to the babies. But soon the kids are grade-schoolers, high schoolers, and college bound seniors who are so accustomed to their moms comparing them to cousin Bob or the neighbor's kid that they think in terms of comparisons too!

They start to have prejudices against the people that are "doing better" than they are. Family relationships and friendships are damaged as inferiority (or superiority) complexes push people apart. Entitlements creep up when kids ask their parents why they can't have what someone else has when they've always been told they are better than that person. And what I think is the worst outcome: these poor kids have no way of seeing their own unique intrinsic value outside how they measure up to someone else.

Is this really the message we want to send our kids?

I love my kids so much sometimes my chest literally feels like it will burst with happiness and pride. I want to build them up to be as proud of themselves as I am of them, but I want that pride to come from teaching them to be good people with admirable traits not from asserting that they are better than someone else.