My mom's birthday was actually last month. In the month prior to her birthday and the entire month after her birthday I've been trying to think of the perfect gift. In the past I've given her jewelry, photos of the girls, clothing, gift cards - all the usual "mom" gifts. And after living in her house for the past few months I could think of plenty of *stuff* to give her. But for some reason that really just doesn't feel like enough this year.
Why is it so hard? It's not something specific she did. Or something she said. Or really any one thing at all. It's that it just hit me. I'm a 31 year old woman living a parallel life to the one my mother must have lived 25 years ago. Sure, there are some obvious differences. I work out of the home, my mom babysat at home. My dad worked long hours and rarely helped with cooking or cleaning and left the majority of the parenting responsibilities to my mom. My husband neglects much (but not all) of the household work, but is 100% my full time partner in parenting. Money is slightly less of an issue for me than it was for my mom.
But if you throw out the details, the core of our everyday lives is too similar to ignore. Raising two little girls, trying to be a good wife, working hard, and going to bed exhausted. And the heartbreaking fact of it all - what I think has been keeping me up at night - is that the vast majority of these earliest efforts at motherhood will go unremembered and without thanks.
Now that I am on the other side of the equation, I feel like the number of things I want to thank my mother for could fill volumes. The amount of gratitude I feel seems like it couldn't possibly be expressed through anything you'd find at the mall. So today I am presenting my mother with my genuine thanks for all those things she thought were forgotten.
To My Mom,
Thank you for getting up early, even when you wanted to sleep for two more hours.
Thank you for making me breakfast and talking me down from the edge when there wasn't any more of my favorite cereal left and I had to settle on something else.
Thank you for doing the laundry so I had clean clothes to wear every day. And thank you for biting your tongue when I put ridiculous outfits together.
Thank you for putting my toys away eight times a day as I left a trail of destruction behind me on my quest to have fun.
Thank you for listening with rapt attention to my long winded nursery school stories about nothing that I forgot the point of halfway through.
Thank you for not killing me when I threw a tantrum about nothing and wouldn't stop screaming for twenty minutes.
Thank you for grocery shopping with me and having to explain over and over again why we did need frozen vegetables and did not need frosted animal crackers.
Thank you for finding a way to make holidays magical even when you were tired, stressed, and couldn't really afford all the things you wanted me to have.
Thank you for spending hours decorating beautiful cakes for my birthday parties.
Thank you for making family vacations special. They might not have always been what you wanted, but were what we could afford and you made the best of it.
Thank you for playing silly games with me when you would rather have laid on the couch and gone to sleep.
Thank you for staying up all night when I was sick with painful ear infections.
Thank you for cooking me dinner every night, even when I told you it was gross and refused to eat it.
Thank you for reading me the same books over and over at bedtime even when you hated them.
Thank you for never getting a sound night's sleep because you were constantly on the alert for my nightmares, sleepwalking, and sleep talking.
Thank you for being willing to do it all over again so I could have a sister.
Thank you for all of this and so much more.
