Working Mama drama

Please don't let this post offend you, it's really meant to be an attempt at creative writing with a bit of truth at the expense of all new moms out there (myself included).

Everyone I talk to seems like they can't stop complaning about balancing being a "mom" versus making the transition to being a "working mom". So here are my thoughts on some of the complaints I've heard the most:

1. But I MISS him/her.
Really?! You miss the baby that you spent months (maybe years) planning for, 9 months growing, and another 1-3 months nurturing during your maternity leave?! Did you think you wouldn't miss them?! For real?! We all miss our babies when we go back to work! We cry and are sad and feel like the worst mommy in the world. And we can whine all we want and try to explain why our misery is the most miserablest misery out there, but what does that do for us? Take all that pent up mommy anguish and channel it into a photo album to bring to work with you (you know you have THE CUTEST baby in the world, why not show him/her off?), look up the words to some lullabies (I know I started humming after the second verse of Hush Little Baby til I looked up the words), or plan a family trip to utilize the time you DO have together .

2. Breast-feeding is going to be impossible!
If you started breast-feeding in the first place it's because you knew that providing your baby with the best nutrition out there was a priority for you. Don't let the thought of someone seeing you carrying a freezer bag of your breastmilk or hearing your pump going in the bathroom and awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you dissuade you. Ponder these "made-up" situations and tell me that a determined mom can't go back to work on ANY schedule, deal with any number of weird situations, and still breast-feed through the first year of life:
- Coming home at the end of your day exhausted and pumping before bed to make the morning bottles
- Having a VERY fixed (ie could end at any moment) lunch break to pump, eat, complete paperwork, and answer pages
- Pumping in a busy emergency room bathroom with someone pounding on the door that their kid needs to pee NOW
- Taking half of the only hour you might have to sleep during a 27 hour period to pump
- Having your pump break during a 26 hour period away from your baby and manually pumping until someone fixes it
- Continuing to get up every 4 hours even when the baby is sleeping all night because you need to pump to keep up because of the long stretches it is literally impossible to get away at work to pump
- Begging family to visit your place of work during long shifts to pick up bottles you've pumped so there is no chance the baby will run out

So, stop thinking about how hard it will be and make a plan! I don't care if it means spending half your time attached to a cord, pump often and pump early while you are still home to avoid running low. Have a back-up battery/plug in your nursing supply kit in case you have the distinct misfortune to drop your plug at precisely the right angle that the prongs pop out rendering said plug completely and utterly useless. Scope out your workplace and find an area that is visited less frequently to avoid explaining why you make a motor sound when you pee. And, when you feel stressed, look at your little one and remember why you are doing it in the first place (refer back to my previous posts on the benefits of breast milk....) Convinced yet? You can do!

3. I wish I could just stay home with him/her!
Once again, I can't imagine there is a mom out there who hasn't had this thought - especially in the beginning. The picture of a perfectly groomed 1950s housewife holding a basket of fresh baked goods in one arm and bouncing a giggling baby on her hip with the other arm can be an intoxicating image to an overtired, emotional wreck of a post-partum woman. But, really?! Is telling every single person you meet (including the bagger at the supermarket with Down's syndrome) that you just went back to work, but would MUCH rather be home being a mom accomplish anything for you emotionally, physically, or literally? No!

The truth of the matter is that not everyone is meant to be a working mom (or a stay at home mom for that matter). If the thought of staying home is something that you just can't get out of your head, you need to do some serious exploration into your goals, motivation, and lifestyle to do what's best for your family. This is gonna get you a lot farther than telling the homeless man that asked you for a dollar how stressed you are that daycare forgot to record the 3pm diaper change - was it pee or a BM?!

And, if you do decide to make the flip (which might be the most wonderful amazing thing in the world for you), remember not to get all holier-than-thou on those of us staying in the "working mom and wouldn't give it up for the world" camp. No matter how we spend our days, we can still get together and playgroup the heck out of any Saturday.

Wedding Recipe #4: Cajun Chicken Pasta

I'm back with another recipe! I have been making at least one recipe each week per my original plan, but my busy schedule (a whole other topic) has kept me from posting more regularly. Anyway, here we go!

This recipe came from Sarah, one of the bridesmaids in my wedding. Sarah and I met on the very first day of college as we were "tripled" together with our third roomate, Annie (her recipe will be coming soon!) at BC. Although at first glance Sarah and I appear to be polar opposites (I'm the nerdy brunette and she's the beautiful blonde supporting me by wearing the "way too big for her" patchwork outfit I made), we soon found that we had a lot more in common than we ever would have imagined and became good friends. She's the type of person that I know I could call and have a great conversation with even if we haven't been in touch for a long time.

The recipe I have to share from Sarah actually reminds me of her- it's colorful, creative, and has quite a bit of spice;-)! My husband loved this recipe and said that it "tastes like something you'd get out at a good restaurant" which is a pretty big compliment from him.

If you prepare this recipe completely as written be prepared that it will be HOT. I left out the extra teaspoon of cayenne in hopes of keeping the dish more "kid-friendly", but it still was way too spicy to let my little one try it.

Overall, it was a great dish that I will be making again when I have some time to prep all the ingredients.

Working Mom

Hearing many of my friends' stories about going back to work after maternity leave got me thinking and remembering my own experience. As much as I missed working and feeling academically challenged, I felt like a big chunk of my heart was gone when I stepped out the front door on July 1st knowing it would be at least 9 hours before I got to see my little bug again. All new moms go through it - and it stinks for all of us. Here was my experience:

The first of July is an infamous day in medicine - it is the day that every field of medicine is flooded with brand new MDs. As I only finished the first 9 months of my residency prior to bug's birth, I would be an "experienced" intern in a sea of confusion when I returned. I knew this was the plan as the days of my maternity leave slipped away and it didn't make me feel any better about my impending return. The learning curve would inevitably lengthen my hours even more. And then, in the blink of an eye, the day was upon me. This is what my very first day back looked like:

4:45: I woke up, suppressed my tears, took a shower, and got dressed
5:30: I prepared bag lunches for myself and my husband. Each time I opened the fridge I mournfully checked the row of painstakingly pumped bottles of breast milk lined up. This would be the first time my bug would go longer than two feeds without nursing since she was born. The tears began to fall.
5:45: I woke my bug, changed her diaper, dressed her, and fed her. Longing to keep her close, I let her nurse for as long as I could before I had to leave the house.
6:15: I placed my precious little sleeping bug into her bassinet, gathered my belongings, and did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do - got in the car and drove away from her.
7:00 - 5:00pm: Torture. Relief. Happiness? I couldn't think of her without tearing up. What was she doing? Was she eating? Was she missing me? I refused to let myself call home as I feared I would leave the hospital and get fired if I heard her crying. As the day wore on, I was suddenly struck with a new feeling, relief. I was doing it! Each hour I was closer to seeing her little face again, but for now, I was engaging the part of myself that I had put to sleep for 3 months. I was treating patients, being part of a team, and learning. Was part of myself happy while the other part wept? I was confused.

And then, she was in my arms again. Just like that, one of the longest days of my life was over. I would be repeating the ritual daily for the rest of the month (more on that later), but no other day would be that monumental. As silly as it sounds, that was the day I went from being a mom to becoming a working mom. And, on reflection almost a year later, I can truly say that I love that title and worked just as hard to earn it as I did to earn my MD.

Wedding Recipe #3: Eclair Cake

Unfortunately, I haven't tracked down the photo my husband took of this dessert. Its appearance isn't its main appeal anyway - the taste is what makes this recipe a keeper. This isn't something fancy and intricate or healthy and natural, but everyone at the picnic I made it for enjoyed it.

Here is the recipe:

The only notes I have to make on this recipe are:
1. the regular Cool Whip container is 8oz (not 9oz) and that's what I used
2. I used a can of chocolate fudge frosting that I melted in the microwave and poured over the top of the final layer of graham crackers
3. definitely make it and let it rest in the fridge for at least 12 hours before serving. This allows the graham crackers to get a little softer so that they taste more like cake than cracker.

I didn't forget

Between our two cameras I can't seen to track down the photos of this week's wedding recipes. I'm going to post them in the next 24 hours whether I find the photos or not!

To keep your interest, the recipes to shortly be unveiled are: Cajun Chicken Pasta and Eclair Cake!

Wedding Recipe #2: Filled Cookies

This was a recipe given to me by a member of my husband's family. She is very sweet and very talented in the kitchen if this recipe is any indication.

I've been anxious to make this recipe since I first received it, but wanted to give it the time and attention it deserved. As anyone on my mother's side of the family will profess, my Nanny made THE BEST filled sugar cookies. Since she passed away almost 6 years ago I've longed for the comfort of her homemade cookies. In my mind, tasting one her sugar cookies would be almost like having her arms around me again telling me she loved me.

So there, I revealed my hidden agenda. Making these cookies was a whole new experience for me, but at the same time it felt comfortable and right. It was almost as if my hands were guided by my grandmother as I stirred the filling, rolled the dough, and pulled the cookies out of the oven at the precise moment that they went from uncooked to barely browned.

In the end, the cookies were not quite as sweet as Nanny's used to be, but they were by far the closest I've tasted since she's been gone. So, thank you Kathi for the recipe and thank you Nanny for teaching me a love of baking that continues to grow each day.

The recipe. The only thing I changed was that I left out the lemon and used vanilla extract instead. Nanny's cookies didn't have lemon in them and I was trying to replicate her flavor.


My fingers are just covered where it says that the recipe makes two dozen.
I doubled it. I made half with the raisin and date filling and half filled with cherry preserves.

And here they are! Delicious!
*Any members of the Parker family that happen to be reading, I'll make these for the next family get together and you can all see what you think!*

Old

That's right, I feel really, really, REALLY old right now. I was home visiting with a friend/cousin and her adorable baby girl when I realized I needed some fresh Parmesan cheese for the recipe I was intending to make for dinner. I decided to head down the road to Roma's and get the cheese, as well as some ground beef for meatballs I need to make tomorrow. As I was unloading my purchases at the checkout counter, I had the following exchange with the cashier:

Him: "That's not your blue Mazda out there is it?"
Me: "Yes" (with a note of panic in my voice as visions of my failure to engage the emergency break resulting in the car rolling into the street and being smashed to bits by a large truck)
Him: "You like Phish?"
Me: "Yes" (trying to figure out what my music preferences have to do with the fact that my car is in pieces all over the road)
Him: "Cool. Are you going to the shows next month?"
Me: "What? Is there something wrong with my car?" (NOW I realize that I am driving Matt's old car with the "phishead" license plate) "Oh...I mean...yeah, I'm going..."
Him: "Cool. I saw them back in November at the Times Union Center. I can't wait to see them again. I just saw my first show last summer"

I did some quick math and realized this kid saw his first show TEN YEARS after I saw my first show. Wow.

Redemption

Or at least I'm telling myself that. My delicious, healthy lunch after cookies for breakfast.

Whole wheat sandwich thins
Fresh slivered basil
Baby spinach
Thinly sliced tomato
Thinly sliced cucumber
Fresh mozzarella
Low sodium, low fat deli ham
Yum!

Confession

I can not be trusted home alone making a power point presentation with a bin full of cookies. Yes, I know it's only 9am. If they weren't meant to be breakfast, they shouldn't taste so good with a cup of coffee. Welcome to the party in my tummy cookie #2, let's hope it stops there...

These are the tempting culprits.
Recipe coming soon as Wedding Recipe #2: Filled Cookies...

Wedding Recipe #1: Penne with Roasted Marsala Mushrooms

Although this recipe did not have a name on it, I am quite confident it came from a good friend of mine from high school and medical school. We have both been married for less than five years, have one year old babies at home, and are halfway through residency programs. It is nice to have someone like her in my life to understand exactly what the struggles are that I'm going through balancing a busy career and a family. In addition to being a very good friend, she's apparently a great cook as I LOVE this recipe.

I made a few teeny changes to the recipe:
First, I added an extra splash of the Marsala wine to make more sauce.
Second, I added a little bit less butter because it was all I had left!
Finally, I forgot to buy fresh parsley so I just added a sprinkling of dried parsley.

Even my picky one-year-old gobbled it up! We all loved it so much I'm planning to make it again this weekend for a family gathering.

Here is the recipe:

Blog Project #1: Wedding Recipes

As tradition holds, prior to getting married my wonderful bridesmaids, mom, and mother-in- law threw a bridal shower for me. One of the special requests they made of the attendees was that they bring a favorite recipe with them to share with me. In many instances, this is done for a bride who doesn't know how to cook, but for me it was more about trying to gather some family favorites. After an initial burst of excitement when I made a handful of the recipes, the small, unassuming photo album my mom used to contain the recipe cards got pushed behind my favorite cookbooks, How to Cook Everything and Baking From My Home to Yours.

When cleaning this weekend I rediscovered it and decided to make it a project (ala Julie and Julia) to make all 39 recipes. My plan is make at least 2 recipes a week and post them on here. The book contains everything from classic comfort food (peanut butter fudge and mac and cheese), some fancier fare (crab and cheddar soup and oreo truffles), and even some lighter entrees (whole wheat pasta with broccolini and feta and vegetarian jambalaya).

The recipes will begin later tonight or tomorrow with: Penne with Roasted Marsala Mushrooms

Parenting Advice

As a budding pediatrician, I spend every Monday in my clinic and many weeknights on the phone talking to parents. Usually, they ask me medical questions: "How much tylenol can I give my one year old for a fever of 102?", "What should I do if my five year old has been vomiting all day and can't drink anything?", "What should I do about my son's constipation?". These are the easy questions because I can use tried and true evidence based medicine, facts, and formulas to come up with a plan.

But then come the questions that have a million answers: "How do I wean my baby from her pacifier?", "How do I deal with temper tantrums?", "Why won't my baby sleep through the night?", and so on. These questions have so many different possible answers for different kids that it's completely reasonable that if I give a family only one answer, it's going to fail. This is why I usually offer at least two tactics to any given question. Still, this may not be enough. And many parents, myself included, might find themselves searching the internet for another answer.

And this is why I am advocating today for parents looking for easy advice at their fingertips to make sure the sources they are reading are GOOD QUALITY and written by people with real credentials. Some sites look professional, but actually have some bogus advice hidden within some good articles. My favorite sites for parent advice are put out there by true medical professionals. Without further ado, here they are:

Healthy Children by the American Academy of Pediatrics
Family Doctor by the American Academy of Family Physicians

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms among my readers.

Hope everyone out there got to spend some time doing something they love with the special women in their life today. My bug and I enjoyed some time together in the kitchen - something I hope we will always be able to share and cherish.

Saying thanks

Last year the super sweet nursing team from my outpatient clinic put together a special "Doctor's Day" celebration for all of the residents and attending doctors. Beyond that, they are just great people who have supported me and helped me learn since the day I started my residency. I was on maternity leave last May and never got to pay them back on Nurse's Day/Nurse's Week. I didn't want to let another year go by without formally saying "thanks," so I made a big batch of cookies to bring to clinic with me tomorrow.

I used my favorite cookbook as usual (Baking From My Home to Yours by Dorie Greenspan). I followed the recipe for "My Best Chocolate Chip Cookies" (check out the recipe here). I used the variation to make Chocolate Chocolate Chip cookies suggested in the "Playing Around" column. I also decided to use 6oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips and 6oz of butterscotch chips instead of all chocolate.

I love reading blogs with photo captures of each step of the process, but I usually don't have the dedication to stick it out. Today I did. Enjoy!

Start with some butter...

Then add some sugar...

Mix until well blended.

Mix in a few eggs and some vanilla

Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, and baking soda

Just about done...

Lastly, stir in the chips!

Finally, the dough is all ready to bake.

Ignore the old cookie pan, I need new ones


Done! Dark chocolately, crispy on the edges, and soft in the middle. Delicious!

She's Bananas!

My daughter has an issue. A food issue. Her favorite food changes on a constant basis. One day she smashes handfuls of the "flavor of the day" into her toothy little mouth and grins ear-to-ear. The next day, the very same food will be expelled the moment it touches her tongue and she will wail until something else is offered. As an avid food lover, this bothers me more than anything else I've yet encountered in motherhood. How can she get so much joy out of a food one day and absolutely despise it the next?!

Then, one glorious day, I thought I had broken the cycle. Not for two days, or three days, but for a whole WEEK she gobbled up bananas. She ate them on a mat, she ate them with a cat. She ate them here, she ate them there. She ate them EVERYWHERE. Thrilled, I went straight to Sam's Club and purchased a large stem of bananas. She might have eaten one of them before deciding she was wrong and she actually hates bananas too. She hates them so much she waves her hands wildly if they even touch the tray of her highchair until every last piece is out of her sight. Day after day I tried reintroducing them, but was met with the same manic squeal and flurry of hands and arms scattering banana bits across the kitchen each time.

Tired of scrubbing the floor, I decided the remainder of the bananas would meet a different fate. I had so many left still, I dedicated half to a loaf of banana bread and the other half to Banana Bundt cake from Baking: From My Home to Yours.

Oddly enough, the baby LOVES the banana bread.

Follow-up: Lemon Mint Chicken

I made my lemon chicken again this evening for dinner. I served it for myself the same way I originally posted (over salad), but I adapted it and turned it into a pasta dish for my husband. Here is a picture of my salad:


For my husband, I made some thin spaghetti. Then, I added the drippings from the baked chicken dish to a large saute pan and tossed it with the spaghetti. I added half of the broiled tomatoes, a handful of sliced black olives, and some feta cheese before topping it with slices of the baked chicken.

Lemon Mint Baked Chicken with Grape Tomatoes

Disclaimer: I rarely follow exact recipes - I add an extra pinch of this and a dash of that while leaving out something else. All of my measurements are gross approximations.

This recipe is the brainchild of my desire for fresher foods that I can throw together FAST.

First, I whipped up a really simple marinade - olive oil, fresh squeezed lemon juice, mint, garlic, and pepper. After whisking the ingredients into a fresh Spring-y olfactory delight, I added boneless, skinless chicken breast and some grape tomatoes to the party. The oven preheated to 400 and I prepared the baby's dinner while the chicken and tomatoes marinated for ~20 minutes (maybe less, I was in a hurry to get it on the table!). Then, I baked the chicken and tomatoes. For the last 2 minutes of baking I pumped the oven up to broil to get a little blister to the skin on the tomatoes.

I let the chicken and tomatoes cool a smidge while I prepped myself a big plate of organic spring mix. I diced up one chicken breast and scattered it over the bed of greens. Following the chicken was a scoop of the roasted tomatoes topped with a generous sprinkling of feta cheese.

My husband ate his portion with store-brought Balsamic Vinegarette, but I felt the chicken and tomatoes had so much flavor this salad was perfect naked.

I plan to make this again, soon. I'll add a picture then.

Ingredients
1tbsp olive oil
1 clove of garlic minced
juice of 1 lemon
1 tsp fresh mint chopped

2 large boneless skinless chicken breasts, halved
2 handfuls of grape tomatoes (a few dozen)

1/3 cup feta cheese, divided
organic spring mix (you choose how much you want!)

Directions
Whisk the marinade and add the chicken and tomatoes as described above. Marinade for 20 minutes (or more, if you have the time).

Bake for 25 minutes at 400. Broil for the last 2 minutes.

Serve chicken and tomatoes over greens topped with feta.

Enjoy!

This recipe will make 4 side portions or 2 big main course portions

Eat Your Veggies!

My month of working nights in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) has led precipitously into an absolutely atrocious diet. With the obligations of residency keeping me up from 7pm-8am watching over the tiniest of babies, the emotional pull of motherhood preventing me from sleeping more than 3-4 hours before rushing to daycare to cuddle my baby girl for as long as possible, and my burning desire to be a good wife (read: not wanting to be a worse wife that I already am for seeing my husband for 1 hour a day) hustling me to tidy the house and prepare a homemade dinner during the baby's naps, there was no time left to worry about what I should be eating.

My daytime (8am-8pm) food intake looked something like this: a big old coffee accompanying an egg and cheese muffin sandwich with ham or - I shield my eyes in shame as I admit it - bacon before leaving the hospital, handfuls of whatever I could find in the fridge/pantry (dry cereal, crackers, graham crackers, carrot sticks, or cheese wedges) and an iced coffee on my way to daycare, and then as much as I could stuff in my face for dinner (usually at least a well prepared meal) before having to rush out the door - sometimes this was not enough, others it was WAY too much. I'd usually bring another coffee with me or grab one on my way up to the NICU.

So, by that point, I'd already eaten 2 1/2 meals and was starting my 13 hour shift. I'd bring healthy things like carrot sticks and yogurts with me to eat, but - let's be honest - they usually made their way into the trash after being transported back and forth from home to hospital three or four times. It would be an understatement to say I've made a few trips to the all-night Dunkin Donuts in the hospital with a longing nothing but more caffeine and lots of disgusting processed carbs could abate.

Finally, last weekend I hit a breaking point. Not only was I intellectually stressed by the vast expanse of medical knowledge I needed to acquire to be a good resident in the NICU and emotionally stressed to the point of tears each night when I left my baby and husband, but my body was stressed and angry. Too much caffeine, not enough water. Too many complex carbs, not enough produce. Too many processed meals, not enough fresh ingredients. All of my goals for healthy, clean, organic eating had dissipated and I was merely in survival mode scurrying about the corriders of the hospital by night nibbling on highly processed egg and cheese wraps and raiding the pantry without conscious by day.

Enough is (was) enough. I've been on an extremely low-carb and high vegetable diet (a modified South Beach diet of my own creation) for the past 5 days and I feel like a whole new person. So there it is people, take the time and EAT YOUR VEGGIES to feel your best.

Yummy recipes I've stumbled upon or created soon to follow.

Breast Feeding News

As part of my membership to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) I get daily e-mails with links to pediatric health issues in the news. I thought it might be worthwhile to repost some of them for any of the interested moms reading my blog. Here's a throwback to some of my early posts on breast feeding...

New Study: Breast Feeding Saves Lives

Tomato Mint Bites

When I came home I was excited to come up with something as a light lunch using the fresh tomatoes and mint I picked up at the Farmer's Market. I looked around on the Bon Appetit website for some inspiration and found this recipe. I didn't have all the right ingredients, so this was what I came up with after playing around:

Homemade bread with Feta spread, Tomatoes, and Mint

Ingredients

Homemade Bread (recipe I used can be found here)

1/4 cup feta

1/4-1/2 cup reduced fat sour cream

1/2 of a fresh squeezed lemon

Black Pepper, to taste

1 small thinly sliced tomato

3 chopped mint leaves

To make my own "spreadable cheese", I mixed the feta, sour cream, lemon juice, and black pepper in my mini food processor.

I only let it blend for about ten seconds because I wanted the texture to still be a bit chunky.

My homemade bread, cheese spread, mint, and tomatoes

I cut slices of bread into quarters, spread with cheese, and sprinkled with pepper. Then I topped with sliced tomato and chopped mint.









Yum!