Please don't let this post offend you, it's really meant to be an attempt at creative writing with a bit of truth at the expense of all new moms out there (myself included).
Everyone I talk to seems like they can't stop complaning about balancing being a "mom" versus making the transition to being a "working mom". So here are my thoughts on some of the complaints I've heard the most:
1. But I MISS him/her.
Really?! You miss the baby that you spent months (maybe years) planning for, 9 months growing, and another 1-3 months nurturing during your maternity leave?! Did you think you wouldn't miss them?! For real?! We all miss our babies when we go back to work! We cry and are sad and feel like the worst mommy in the world. And we can whine all we want and try to explain why our misery is the most miserablest misery out there, but what does that do for us? Take all that pent up mommy anguish and channel it into a photo album to bring to work with you (you know you have THE CUTEST baby in the world, why not show him/her off?), look up the words to some lullabies (I know I started humming after the second verse of Hush Little Baby til I looked up the words), or plan a family trip to utilize the time you DO have together .
2. Breast-feeding is going to be impossible!
If you started breast-feeding in the first place it's because you knew that providing your baby with the best nutrition out there was a priority for you. Don't let the thought of someone seeing you carrying a freezer bag of your breastmilk or hearing your pump going in the bathroom and awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you dissuade you. Ponder these "made-up" situations and tell me that a determined mom can't go back to work on ANY schedule, deal with any number of weird situations, and still breast-feed through the first year of life:
- Coming home at the end of your day exhausted and pumping before bed to make the morning bottles
- Having a VERY fixed (ie could end at any moment) lunch break to pump, eat, complete paperwork, and answer pages
- Pumping in a busy emergency room bathroom with someone pounding on the door that their kid needs to pee NOW
- Taking half of the only hour you might have to sleep during a 27 hour period to pump
- Having your pump break during a 26 hour period away from your baby and manually pumping until someone fixes it
- Continuing to get up every 4 hours even when the baby is sleeping all night because you need to pump to keep up because of the long stretches it is literally impossible to get away at work to pump
- Begging family to visit your place of work during long shifts to pick up bottles you've pumped so there is no chance the baby will run out
So, stop thinking about how hard it will be and make a plan! I don't care if it means spending half your time attached to a cord, pump often and pump early while you are still home to avoid running low. Have a back-up battery/plug in your nursing supply kit in case you have the distinct misfortune to drop your plug at precisely the right angle that the prongs pop out rendering said plug completely and utterly useless. Scope out your workplace and find an area that is visited less frequently to avoid explaining why you make a motor sound when you pee. And, when you feel stressed, look at your little one and remember why you are doing it in the first place (refer back to my previous posts on the benefits of breast milk....) Convinced yet? You can do!
3. I wish I could just stay home with him/her!
Once again, I can't imagine there is a mom out there who hasn't had this thought - especially in the beginning. The picture of a perfectly groomed 1950s housewife holding a basket of fresh baked goods in one arm and bouncing a giggling baby on her hip with the other arm can be an intoxicating image to an overtired, emotional wreck of a post-partum woman. But, really?! Is telling every single person you meet (including the bagger at the supermarket with Down's syndrome) that you just went back to work, but would MUCH rather be home being a mom accomplish anything for you emotionally, physically, or literally? No!
The truth of the matter is that not everyone is meant to be a working mom (or a stay at home mom for that matter). If the thought of staying home is something that you just can't get out of your head, you need to do some serious exploration into your goals, motivation, and lifestyle to do what's best for your family. This is gonna get you a lot farther than telling the homeless man that asked you for a dollar how stressed you are that daycare forgot to record the 3pm diaper change - was it pee or a BM?!
And, if you do decide to make the flip (which might be the most wonderful amazing thing in the world for you), remember not to get all holier-than-thou on those of us staying in the "working mom and wouldn't give it up for the world" camp. No matter how we spend our days, we can still get together and playgroup the heck out of any Saturday.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Wedding Recipe #4: Cajun Chicken Pasta
I'm back with another recipe! I have been making at least one recipe each week per my original plan, but my busy schedule (a whole other topic) has kept me from posting more regularly. Anyway, here we go!
This recipe came from Sarah, one of the bridesmaids in my wedding. Sarah and I met on the very first day of college as we were "tripled" together with our third roomate, Annie (her recipe will be coming soon!) at BC. Although at first glance Sarah and I appear to be polar opposites (I'm the nerdy brunette and she's the beautiful blonde supporting me by wearing the "way too big for her" patchwork outfit I made), we soon found that we had a lot more in common than we ever would have imagined and became good friends. She's the type of person that I know I could call and have a great conversation with even if we haven't been in touch for a long time.
The recipe I have to share from Sarah actually reminds me of her- it's colorful, creative, and has quite a bit of spice;-)! My husband loved this recipe and said that it "tastes like something you'd get out at a good restaurant" which is a pretty big compliment from him.
If you prepare this recipe completely as written be prepared that it will be HOT. I left out the extra teaspoon of cayenne in hopes of keeping the dish more "kid-friendly", but it still was way too spicy to let my little one try it.
Overall, it was a great dish that I will be making again when I have some time to prep all the ingredients.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Working Mom
Hearing many of my friends' stories about going back to work after maternity leave got me thinking and remembering my own experience. As much as I missed working and feeling academically challenged, I felt like a big chunk of my heart was gone when I stepped out the front door on July 1st knowing it would be at least 9 hours before I got to see my little bug again. All new moms go through it - and it stinks for all of us. Here was my experience:
The first of July is an infamous day in medicine - it is the day that every field of medicine is flooded with brand new MDs. As I only finished the first 9 months of my residency prior to bug's birth, I would be an "experienced" intern in a sea of confusion when I returned. I knew this was the plan as the days of my maternity leave slipped away and it didn't make me feel any better about my impending return. The learning curve would inevitably lengthen my hours even more. And then, in the blink of an eye, the day was upon me. This is what my very first day back looked like:
4:45: I woke up, suppressed my tears, took a shower, and got dressed
5:30: I prepared bag lunches for myself and my husband. Each time I opened the fridge I mournfully checked the row of painstakingly pumped bottles of breast milk lined up. This would be the first time my bug would go longer than two feeds without nursing since she was born. The tears began to fall.
5:45: I woke my bug, changed her diaper, dressed her, and fed her. Longing to keep her close, I let her nurse for as long as I could before I had to leave the house.
6:15: I placed my precious little sleeping bug into her bassinet, gathered my belongings, and did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do - got in the car and drove away from her.
7:00 - 5:00pm: Torture. Relief. Happiness? I couldn't think of her without tearing up. What was she doing? Was she eating? Was she missing me? I refused to let myself call home as I feared I would leave the hospital and get fired if I heard her crying. As the day wore on, I was suddenly struck with a new feeling, relief. I was doing it! Each hour I was closer to seeing her little face again, but for now, I was engaging the part of myself that I had put to sleep for 3 months. I was treating patients, being part of a team, and learning. Was part of myself happy while the other part wept? I was confused.
And then, she was in my arms again. Just like that, one of the longest days of my life was over. I would be repeating the ritual daily for the rest of the month (more on that later), but no other day would be that monumental. As silly as it sounds, that was the day I went from being a mom to becoming a working mom. And, on reflection almost a year later, I can truly say that I love that title and worked just as hard to earn it as I did to earn my MD.
The first of July is an infamous day in medicine - it is the day that every field of medicine is flooded with brand new MDs. As I only finished the first 9 months of my residency prior to bug's birth, I would be an "experienced" intern in a sea of confusion when I returned. I knew this was the plan as the days of my maternity leave slipped away and it didn't make me feel any better about my impending return. The learning curve would inevitably lengthen my hours even more. And then, in the blink of an eye, the day was upon me. This is what my very first day back looked like:
4:45: I woke up, suppressed my tears, took a shower, and got dressed
5:30: I prepared bag lunches for myself and my husband. Each time I opened the fridge I mournfully checked the row of painstakingly pumped bottles of breast milk lined up. This would be the first time my bug would go longer than two feeds without nursing since she was born. The tears began to fall.
5:45: I woke my bug, changed her diaper, dressed her, and fed her. Longing to keep her close, I let her nurse for as long as I could before I had to leave the house.
6:15: I placed my precious little sleeping bug into her bassinet, gathered my belongings, and did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do - got in the car and drove away from her.
7:00 - 5:00pm: Torture. Relief. Happiness? I couldn't think of her without tearing up. What was she doing? Was she eating? Was she missing me? I refused to let myself call home as I feared I would leave the hospital and get fired if I heard her crying. As the day wore on, I was suddenly struck with a new feeling, relief. I was doing it! Each hour I was closer to seeing her little face again, but for now, I was engaging the part of myself that I had put to sleep for 3 months. I was treating patients, being part of a team, and learning. Was part of myself happy while the other part wept? I was confused.
And then, she was in my arms again. Just like that, one of the longest days of my life was over. I would be repeating the ritual daily for the rest of the month (more on that later), but no other day would be that monumental. As silly as it sounds, that was the day I went from being a mom to becoming a working mom. And, on reflection almost a year later, I can truly say that I love that title and worked just as hard to earn it as I did to earn my MD.
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