Working Mama drama

Please don't let this post offend you, it's really meant to be an attempt at creative writing with a bit of truth at the expense of all new moms out there (myself included).

Everyone I talk to seems like they can't stop complaning about balancing being a "mom" versus making the transition to being a "working mom". So here are my thoughts on some of the complaints I've heard the most:

1. But I MISS him/her.
Really?! You miss the baby that you spent months (maybe years) planning for, 9 months growing, and another 1-3 months nurturing during your maternity leave?! Did you think you wouldn't miss them?! For real?! We all miss our babies when we go back to work! We cry and are sad and feel like the worst mommy in the world. And we can whine all we want and try to explain why our misery is the most miserablest misery out there, but what does that do for us? Take all that pent up mommy anguish and channel it into a photo album to bring to work with you (you know you have THE CUTEST baby in the world, why not show him/her off?), look up the words to some lullabies (I know I started humming after the second verse of Hush Little Baby til I looked up the words), or plan a family trip to utilize the time you DO have together .

2. Breast-feeding is going to be impossible!
If you started breast-feeding in the first place it's because you knew that providing your baby with the best nutrition out there was a priority for you. Don't let the thought of someone seeing you carrying a freezer bag of your breastmilk or hearing your pump going in the bathroom and awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you dissuade you. Ponder these "made-up" situations and tell me that a determined mom can't go back to work on ANY schedule, deal with any number of weird situations, and still breast-feed through the first year of life:
- Coming home at the end of your day exhausted and pumping before bed to make the morning bottles
- Having a VERY fixed (ie could end at any moment) lunch break to pump, eat, complete paperwork, and answer pages
- Pumping in a busy emergency room bathroom with someone pounding on the door that their kid needs to pee NOW
- Taking half of the only hour you might have to sleep during a 27 hour period to pump
- Having your pump break during a 26 hour period away from your baby and manually pumping until someone fixes it
- Continuing to get up every 4 hours even when the baby is sleeping all night because you need to pump to keep up because of the long stretches it is literally impossible to get away at work to pump
- Begging family to visit your place of work during long shifts to pick up bottles you've pumped so there is no chance the baby will run out

So, stop thinking about how hard it will be and make a plan! I don't care if it means spending half your time attached to a cord, pump often and pump early while you are still home to avoid running low. Have a back-up battery/plug in your nursing supply kit in case you have the distinct misfortune to drop your plug at precisely the right angle that the prongs pop out rendering said plug completely and utterly useless. Scope out your workplace and find an area that is visited less frequently to avoid explaining why you make a motor sound when you pee. And, when you feel stressed, look at your little one and remember why you are doing it in the first place (refer back to my previous posts on the benefits of breast milk....) Convinced yet? You can do!

3. I wish I could just stay home with him/her!
Once again, I can't imagine there is a mom out there who hasn't had this thought - especially in the beginning. The picture of a perfectly groomed 1950s housewife holding a basket of fresh baked goods in one arm and bouncing a giggling baby on her hip with the other arm can be an intoxicating image to an overtired, emotional wreck of a post-partum woman. But, really?! Is telling every single person you meet (including the bagger at the supermarket with Down's syndrome) that you just went back to work, but would MUCH rather be home being a mom accomplish anything for you emotionally, physically, or literally? No!

The truth of the matter is that not everyone is meant to be a working mom (or a stay at home mom for that matter). If the thought of staying home is something that you just can't get out of your head, you need to do some serious exploration into your goals, motivation, and lifestyle to do what's best for your family. This is gonna get you a lot farther than telling the homeless man that asked you for a dollar how stressed you are that daycare forgot to record the 3pm diaper change - was it pee or a BM?!

And, if you do decide to make the flip (which might be the most wonderful amazing thing in the world for you), remember not to get all holier-than-thou on those of us staying in the "working mom and wouldn't give it up for the world" camp. No matter how we spend our days, we can still get together and playgroup the heck out of any Saturday.