Mommy of 2!

Today I'm previewing a new "segment"  called "Mommy Tips" to try and stop myself from only posting recipes...we'll see how it goes!

I can not believe this, but my little bear is already three months old!  As much as we wanted to have another one, I have to be honest and say that reverting back to the newborn days was a little intimidating. I wasn't looking forward to getting back into a nursing schedule and being up every 3 hours or to changing diapers 24/7, but what I was really worried about was how the bug was going to adjust to the new baby. My bug is beautiful, wonderfully pleasant, and so smart you forget she's only three 75% of the time - the other 25% she is a stubborn, spoiled rotten tantrum machine. I feared the new baby would tip the scales and reverse the equation.

Three months later I'm pleased to report that the transition from a three to a four person household was MUCH easier than I expected. Thanks to a wonderfully mellow infant and some careful planning on our part, we slipped easily into a new routine. I can not understate how much the bear being a good baby helped this process, but here are the details my husband and I tweaked to keep things on track...

1. Celebrate the big brother/big sister - right away! Pack a special gift for your older child right into your hospital bag so you have something to give him/her when he/she comes to the hospital to visit the baby. For our bug we told her the gift was from her baby sister, but for an older child the gift could be from mommy and daddy. Our gift was a small backpack from Hobby Lobby personalized with a "Big Sister" iron-on and filled with a Disney princess baby doll, some craft activities, and a few edible treats (yogurt raisins, cheese crackers, and something chocolate).
2. Set aside alone time early on. When I say alone time, I really mean it - physically have the baby in a different room and devote all of your attention to the big brother/big sister to remind them that you are still there for them 100% too. We put the baby down for a nap in her swing in the living room and then made a fun dessert treat in the kitchen together while we listened to bug's favorite music. A few other times we did the same thing and had a "dance party" where daddy played music while the bug and I dressed up in her princess dress-up clothes and made up silly dances. *For the dessert I used a muffin tin and filled each hole with a different dip-able item (strawberries, pineapples, pretzel sticks, marshmallows, etc) and melted some chocolate chips for dipping.*
3. Involve the big sister/big brother in caring for the baby. Help the older siblings create a bond early on by giving out small tasks they can do to help you care for the baby. Asking the older sibling to bring you a diaper/wipes, pick out pajamas or clothes for the baby, sing the baby to sleep, or wash the baby's toes/tummy in the bathtub (avoid the eyes!) can help ease the transition.
4. Avoid saying you can't do something because of the baby. Let's be honest, there are going to be many times when your older child wants you to do something that you can't do because of the new baby. Even when it's something obvious like the baby is nursing so you can't make pancakes that second, it is going to sound much different to your child if you say, "Mommy would love to make you pancakes, but I need to be sitting down right now. Can you bring me the "If You Give a Pig a Pancake..." book? We can read that first, talk about what kind of pancakes you want, and then I'll be ready to make them!" instead of, "Mommy is feeding the baby, I can't right now," It takes a bit more effort, but is very worth it!
5. Give THEM alone time. Before you think I've lost it telling you to leave your baby alone with another child, hear me out. My kids are 3 1/2 years apart. They clearly need supervision, but I like to think of it as "indirect supervision." Not when the baby was a newborn, but now that she's a few months old I will put them in the crib together or let them lay on the carpet in their room together and pretend not to be paying attention while they play together. Sometimes I stay in the room and read a book, other times (like right now) I sit right outside the room so they can't see me, but all I have to do is move my head and I can see them. I try not to interrupt their play unless the bear starts to cry or the bug is about to do something potentially dangerous.
6. Arrange activities for the big brother/big sister. With all the visitors coming to see the baby, your older child may start to think they aren't important to everyone else anymore. Although you never want them to feel like you are trying to "get rid of them", it can be a great idea to set up little trips for the older siblings to remind them how special they are to other family members. A sleepover at grandma and grandpa's house, a trip to the mall with an older cousin, or a movie date with an aunt/uncle are all potential ideas.

I really hope these tips help someone out there!