Bagged Lunch

Eating outside the house can be an absolute disaster without preparing ahead of time. My husband falls prey to the super fast, super cheap McDonald's looming across the street from his office. I end up with over-priced coffee from Starbucks and something wilted and flavorless from Price Chopper's salad bar. Although school lunch has made some steps in the right direction, I don't want bug eating what they offer most days either.

I've found the only way to avoid these "quick fixes" is with food prep ahead of time. We are doing awesome with planning and packing the bug's lunches and making some definite progress with packing for ourselves too. Here are some of the lunches we've been enjoying this month...

TJ's chocolate almond spread on whole wheat bread, chips, carrot sticks, watermelon, and homemade mini M&M sugar cookies (This was the first week of school, so I let more junk food slip by)

TJ's chocolate almond spread on Back to Nature cracker rounds, carrot sticks, TJ's cheddar rockets, mandarin oranges in 100% juice, cantaloupe, and mini M&M sugar cookies (Still the first week of school...I sent a lot of options)

Ham and cheese pita bread roll-up, cooked and chilled green beans, carrot sticks, homemade applesauce, and homemade pumpkin snickerdoodle

One of my lunches! Homemade chicken salad (Chicken, walnuts, celery, with cranberry mayo) over TJ's herb spring mix, grape tomatoes and fresh mozzarella drizzled with balsamic and cracker pepper, and raw cashews.

Kindergarten Blues

Two days ago my daughter started kindergarten. Logically, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. She's been in daycare since she was a baby and went to a full time pre-K program last year. We encourage her to be independent and she's great at making friends. I loved school as a kid and want her to have an even better experience than I did.

Knowing this, I was still on the verge of tears all summer every time I thought about her starting kindergarten.

Well, the big day has come and gone. I shed a few tears walking away from her on the first day, but kept my composure by focusing on how happy and excited she was. I've felt such a strange mixture of sadness and grief, I've had a hard time processing it.

Tonight, I figured it out in a completely accidental way. I went out to get a coffee to keep me going for a night of crafts and baking. On the way home I elected to drive by our old house. As soon as I saw the familiar street sign, I felt a sickening drop in my stomach and wave of grief wash over me.

In that moment it hit me why kindergarten was such a difficult thing to understand. Just like our old house, my "baby" was a thing of the past. They both represent so many wonderful memories, warm feelings, and "I want to remember this forever" moments that are never going to be repeated. And because it was so meaningful, letting go hurts a bit. But just as I kept driving, looking ahead to our new house, I am ready to embrace the new life my girl is beginning. 

As a book lover I like to think of it not as the closure of one chapter, but the opening lines of another just waiting to be written...

One Smart Cookie

Today was my older daughter's first day of kindergarten. It was a huge day in parenting and I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it all. Maybe tomorrow I'll be ready to talk about it.

What I am ready to talk about now is the adorable gift I made for my daughter to give her teacher. I originally saw the idea on Pinterest (where else?!) and knew I had to recreate it.

Simple enough, but (hopefully) it made the teacher's hectic first day a little brighter. 

Glass jar for less than $5 at Marshall's.

Homemade cookies.

Ribbon from my craft leftovers.

Cute saying copied from Pinterest.

I also used the tag as an opportunity to write a note to the teacher (on the back) offering classroom help. Being proactive allowed me to tell her exactly what day/time is best for me and to offer my knowledge as a pediatrician for lessons related to health.

First Impressions

The old saying is that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. As I can be kind of a socially awkward person I've found myself overcompensating on the back-end for a less-than-stellar first impression more than once.

Today was the Teacher Welcome Brunch at my daughter's new school and I wanted to send something that wouldn't require any making up for later on. When I really want to knock a recipe out of the park I always turn to my favorite baking cookbook - Dorie Greenspan's Baking: From My Home to Yours. Enthusiastically I selected the recipe for her Cardamom Crumb Cake.

Then, I realized that I didn't have cardamom and that I shouldn't send nuts into a school without knowing if they are nut-free. Unperturbed, I sifted through my spices and discovered that my TJ's pumpkin pie spice blend contained cardamom (and smelled awesome!) I also omitted the nuts from the topping. Otherwise, I followed the recipe as listed here.

This cake filled the house with an amazing fall scent as it was baking and looks beautiful. I also received very high praise from one of the teachers who said everyone really enjoyed it and wanted to know who made it. I'd call that a successful first impression!

Why this summer matters to me

My baby starts kindergarten in the fall. All moms who have met this milestone know that it signifies something huge in the world of parenting. My girl has been in daycare since she was five months old, so it's not just about separation. It's about accepting that this beautiful, sweet, innocent, perfect - not perfect in the dictionary sense of the word, but perfect to me - little girl must be surrendered to "the outside." She will no longer be in the company of children and adults that we ultimately have the power to veto if we so choose. There will be teachers that we might not like - or might not like us. Tasks that may be difficult. Experiences that might be scary. Kids that may - or more likely will - bully. 

The day she was born - instantly in love

My fears about elementary school are deeply rooted in my own experiences. I was a fat kid. A smart fat kid. A smart fat kid who was nice to everyone and had strange fashion sense. I was teased relentlessly because of my weight and messy hair. Kids asked me in secret to help them with their homework, but laughed at me in front of others. I let their words get to me and each year my opinion of myself slipped a little lower.

Me: The awkward years made more awkward next to my sister in her "cute as a button" phase

It is this history that fills me with trepidation when I think of my daughter starting kindergarten. Each day the words I have have tried to pass on to her - you are smart, you are kind, you are beautiful in every way - risk being lost as the new people in her life pass on their own words. Instead of a gentle whisper in her ear at bedtime, I want my words to become a roar that echoes in her ears. My mom did her best to do this for me and it kept me afloat.

My princess on her 5th birthday pretending to be Olaf

That is why summer means so much to me this year. I don't want to waste a single opportunity to build her up so that she's harder to knock down. I want my daughter's days to be filled with so much love, happiness, and validation that she radiates confidence when she walks through that classroom door in September.