Gluten-Free Pesto Pasta Salad

Pasta salad is such an easy side dish (and great summer BBQ food) that I've been lamenting the loss of it since I started eating gluten-free. I've been aware of the gluten-free pasta varieties available, but was really trying to keep away and push myself towards more vegetables instead.

This weekend I decided grilled sausage (made at my favorite local deli) with peppers, mushrooms, and onions sounded like a really yummy and easy dinner. I'm not sure why, but I really couldn't get the idea of pasta salad as an accompaniment out of my head. 

As I was brainstorming, I was torn. Bottled salad dressing is something I really try to avoid these days (so many additives!), but I also didn't feel like making an Italian dressing from scratch. As I mentioned in my post about the kale salad, my husband is critical of my real food attempts and I knew that if I tried to make a traditional pasta salad with gluten-free pasta and homemade Italian dressing I was setting myself up for complaints. 

Instead, I found inspiration in my over-grown basil plant on the kitchen windowsill. I would make a pesto! I was counting on the stronger flavor of the pesto as a dressing to overshadow any flavor or texture issues that my husband could have with the brown rice pasta - and it worked! He didn't question the origins of the pasta and the salad wasn't measuring up against any expectation of what it *should* taste like so he just ate it and enjoyed. Success! 

Obviously this salad could be made with regular pasta, but try it out with a gluten-free variety and see what you think!

Gluten-Free Pesto Pasta Salad

Ingredients

1/2 lb cooked, drained, and cooled brown rice pasta

1 cup halved grape or cherry tomatoes

1 cup packed basil leaves

1 tbsp pine nuts or almonds (I used almonds)

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/4 cup grated Parmesan (use good quality stuff, not the stuff from a can!)

1/4 cup olive oil

1. Prepare the pasta and set aside to cool.
2. Chop the tomatoes and set aside.
3. Put all of the pesto ingredients into a food processor and blend. Add more oil, if needed, to thin appropriately.
4. Mix the pasta, tomatoes, and pesto together.
5. Chill at least two hours before serving for flavors to develop.

Forgive me

I need 5 minutes to rant because I just can't take it anymore. People need to stop comparing and competing their kids (and babies!!)

Every parent in the world thinks their kid is the cutest thing to ever appear on the planet earth. Every spit bubble, spaghetti face, and dance move is ADORABLE. In addition to being the cutest baby ever their baby is probably the earliest walker too. If not the earliest, definitely the most stable. Did I forget to mention that this same beautiful, master of balance also says more words at a year of age than any other kid in the history of the world?! And trust me, it doesn't stop there! Before the kid even knows how to use the potty (which they will do well before any other kid does), the parents are pretty sure they can tell their genius baby is presidential material from the way they shift in their sleep during conversations about politics.

Obviously I'm exaggerating (a little), but you all know what I am talking about. The problem isn't that parents think these things to themselves. Honestly, I think all parents should think their kid is the absolute best thing in the world. And they should post their pictures and videos with delight and vigor on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever social media outlet appeals to them. The problem is when people are so obtuse that they forget that every other parent thinks their kid is awesome and the best too. This inevitably leads to the competition factor that is driving me INSANE.

Let's role play a scenario. Mama A was just at the playground with her son, little B. She took a photo of him on the swings and posts it to Facebook with the caption, "Mommy's cutie enjoying the sunshine! Aren't I lucky?" All her friends see the photo and agree! He's a cute baby. She's a lucky mom. Everyone feels warm, fuzzy, happy thoughts and moves on with their day.

Elsewhere on Facebook Mama C takes her daughter, little D, to the museum. She posts a video of D pointing at the mastodon exhibit saying something that might be mastodon with the caption, "I'm the luckiest mom in the whole world because I have the most beautiful AND the smartest baby girl ever!" All her friends see the video and get annoyed. If Mama C is the luckiest mom in the world and little D is the cutest and smartest that means that they lost the kid lottery and got stuck with a sub-par model. No parent wants to believe their kid is inferior so they start thinking about all the ways Mama C is wrong and how their kid is way better.

The vicious cycle continues as the kids get older. When the babies are little, the drama is just at the mama level. Snide comments looking at Facebook or talking on the phone to another mom or family member don't get through to the babies. But soon the kids are grade-schoolers, high schoolers, and college bound seniors who are so accustomed to their moms comparing them to cousin Bob or the neighbor's kid that they think in terms of comparisons too!

They start to have prejudices against the people that are "doing better" than they are. Family relationships and friendships are damaged as inferiority (or superiority) complexes push people apart. Entitlements creep up when kids ask their parents why they can't have what someone else has when they've always been told they are better than that person. And what I think is the worst outcome: these poor kids have no way of seeing their own unique intrinsic value outside how they measure up to someone else.

Is this really the message we want to send our kids?

I love my kids so much sometimes my chest literally feels like it will burst with happiness and pride. I want to build them up to be as proud of themselves as I am of them, but I want that pride to come from teaching them to be good people with admirable traits not from asserting that they are better than someone else.

Raw Kale, Carrot, and Cabbage Salad

Trying new foods sometimes feels like a lot of work in the kitchen with disappointing results on the dinner plate. "Under-spiced", "odd texture", and "it would have been better with X ingredient" are the complaints I commonly get when I take a gamble on a new recipe. I love to cook, but I find these situations so discouraging. Sometimes it makes me just want to throw my hands up in the air and tell my husband, "You're right! Ordering a pizza would have been a better idea!"

Luckily, the salad recipe I'm sharing today is neither time consuming to make nor disappointing in the taste department. Bonus points: it contains kale - a super healthy, hearty green that helps this salad hold up for lunch leftovers for the next two days.

You could make this salad more complicated (although fresher and probably even tastier) if you start with all local produce, but I kept it quick and started with some bagged organic kale and shredded carrots from Trader Joe's. You could also cheat and use red cabbage that's already been shredded. Whatever you do, don't cheat with the dressing. A bottled dressing will not have the fresh, acidic, tangy flavor you need for this salad to reach perfection.

Raw Kale, Cabbage, and Carrot Salad with Tangy Lime Dressing 

Ingredients

Salad

1/2 bag (or 6 oz) chopped kale

2 cups (or 4 oz) shredded carrots

1/2 head (or 5 oz) shredded red cabbage

1 apple, peeled and cut into sticks

2 scallions, chopped

1/4 cup raw slivered almonds (optional)

Dressing

Juice from 2 limes

1 tbsp spicy brown mustard

1 tbsp maple syrup

2 tbsp cold pressed olive oil

salt & pepper, to taste

1. Mix all of the salad ingredients together keeping the nuts separate.

2. Place all dressing ingredients in a small mason jar and shake well until blended. 

3. Pour the dressing over the salad and toss well to incorporate.

4. If you are using the almonds, sprinkle them over the salad just before serving.

Friday Five: Summer Family Friendly Activities

If you read my post about trying to make every second count this summer, you'll understand where this Friday Five is coming from. We're trying to save money with a larger mortgage and a big empty house in need of furniture looming in the immediate future, but want to make the most of our free time with the kids. Here are some fun ideas I've been brainstorming that cost very little...

1. Have a picnic - for breakfast! Picnics at the park for lunch and dinner BBQs with friends and family are expected during the summer, but the typical morning meal remains about the same year round. Honestly, this makes no sense to me because the morning is a PERFECT time for a summer picnic! The sun isn't as bright and in your face. The weather isn't as hot, humid, or unbearable. And, most kids are in a great mood after getting a full night of rest. You can trek to a park or just spread a blanket in your own yard. Serve easy to eat finger foods like "breakfast sandwiches" (nut or soy butter with fresh sliced strawberries), hard boiled eggs, slices of cheese and meat, fresh fruit (bananas, sliced apples, berries, or oranges), and raw veggie sticks (carrots, cucumber, raw zucchini, peppers). Bring along your own milk, juice, and coffee - never forget the coffee - and enjoy!
2. Go swimming! There are few things my children love more than splashing through water like madmen. I want to give them that joy as often as I can during the summer. From a parenting standpoint "swimming" or "going to the beach" sometimes sounds like a nightmare because of all the stuff it requires. It really doesn't have to take a ton of effort to get them to a body of water if you plan appropriately. Keep a swimming bag stocked at all times that contains a swim suit for each person, a towel for each person, sunscreen, and diapers (if applicable). You'll still need to get life jackets, snacks, etc but you're more than halfway there!
3. Start a Summer of '14 time capsule! This year is especially momentous for us because of our big move and my bug starting kindergarten in the fall, but I think this is a really fun idea for anyone. First, you'll need to get a shoe box - bonus fun, let your kids color and decorate it! Then, make a list of all the things your family plans to do for the summer (family parties, day trips, vacations, hikes) to put in the box. As your family goes on all of your adventures check off your completed activities and don't forget to add "pieces" of your summer to the box. Ideas: family pictures, "journal articles" about certain days, ticket stubs from concerts, movies, or amusement park admission, receipts from a fun meal out, scorecards from mini golf, and anything else that your kids want to add. At the end of the summer seal the box up tight and bury or store it until the date you choose - 2 years? 5 years? 10 years? Your choice!
4. Make your own popsicles! First, you'll have to get a mold - we bought this one from Target for about $3, I have no idea why it's so expensive on amazon. I'm sure you can find about six dozen links on Pinterest to pop recipes, but it's much more fun to let the kids decide. Throw some combination of fruits, water, juice, milk, or yogurt, and, if needed, sweetener (maple syrup or honey to keep it natural) into the blender, pour into the molds, and see what happens! Surprisingly, my bug's decision to make watermelon, orange juice, and whole milk yogurt pops turned out delicious.
5. Have a Family Field Day! You can invite extended family and make this a big deal, or keep it as a small, silly family event. Big or small, the idea is to keep the adults and kids playing together. Let each family member create or choose (from a list you make) their own event with the goal being to have fun, not to win. Some event ideas: water balloon fight (make sure you pick up the balloon pieces afterwards so none of our furry friends eat them!), three legged races, sandcastle building, carnival style games, beach ball volleyball (or just keeping it in the air), and silly relay races (jumping, walking backwards, crab walking, etc). At the end of the events, you can have ribbons that you can award your kids for things like "great attitude" and "happiest player" or get more specific to the events you planned like "tallest sandcastle builder" and "silliest crabwalker". 

Life Lessons...Building a House

It's almost over. Feeling stressed. Worrying if we made the right decisions. Being displaced. Finally, it's coming to an end. In just about a month we should be closing on our new house.

I'm excited. I'm scared. I'm grateful. I'm overwhelmed. I'm happy. But mostly, I'm relieved. The 15 month process of marketing and selling a home, taking up temporary residence, and building a new home has been one I don't want to repeat anytime soon.

For all the badness I've felt during this turbulent time, I think I've learned some important lessons as well. At the very least I hope my struggles can help someone else going through the same process, but I hope my "life lessons" will be inspirational for anyone in a difficult situation.

1. Never forget what you DO have. When you are moving and 75% of your personal items are packed away it's easy to feel discouraged. I'll be very happy to have my own couch, family photos, and extensive kitchen supplies back, but living without them reminded me to appreciate people and moments over "things". We tried really hard to take a time out whenever we started to get too wrapped up in the process. My advice: just be present with each other and let that be enough.
2. Trust your instincts. My husband stressed himself out over every single detail when we were picking out carpets, cabinets, tile, siding, etc for our new house. After the initial stress of choosing each item, he continued to worry about whether it was the right choice until it appeared in the house months later. In the end, things came together beautifully and he put himself under tons of unnecessary stress worrying. My advice: make a thoughtful decision, have confidence it's the right one, and move forward.
3. If it doesn't seem right, it might not be. When our siding went up, it was not a good day. It did not look the way we expected from the samples. It wasn't "us". How could we have picked these colors?? My husband looked back at all of our records and was confident something was amiss. He contacted the designer, foreman, and saleswoman. Somehow an error had been made and an old color scheme had been ordered. It was an honest mistake, but wasn't what we chose. They quickly fixed it and everything was back on track. My advice: Don't be afraid to ask questions when things don't seem right.
4. Channel your stress into something positive. Unlike my husband, I didn't really stress much about details. My stress was worrying about the "big picture." I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about what the moving process was putting our girls through and bad for myself that life was on hold. For awhile I let my stress impact me in really unhealthy ways - indulging in sneaky trips to Starbucks, eating unhealthy foods, being grumpy with my family, etc. Finally, I started taking my stress and laying it on the line each time I go for a jog. I tell myself I can't stop until I let go of the previous day's frustration. It's amazing how well it works. My advice: Find a positive outlet and use it on a regular, scheduled basis.
5. Put it in perspective. It is a huge pain to move with little kids, only have a fraction of your belongings, live in less than ideal housing (too small or too crowded), and have an unclear endpoint to the whole process. But really, in the grand scheme of life and the world, these are pretty insignificant problems. Babies get cancer. Kids go to bed hungry. People are murdered for their beliefs. Natural disasters claim thousands of lives. Those are problems - what we dealt with were minor inconveniences. My advice: Whatever your struggle is, pick two or three things that are going well and focus on those instead. I used to repeat to myself, "We're healthy and we're together" whenever I was having a bad day and it kept me sane.

Why this summer matters to me

My baby starts kindergarten in the fall. All moms who have met this milestone know that it signifies something huge in the world of parenting. My girl has been in daycare since she was five months old, so it's not just about separation. It's about accepting that this beautiful, sweet, innocent, perfect - not perfect in the dictionary sense of the word, but perfect to me - little girl must be surrendered to "the outside." She will no longer be in the company of children and adults that we ultimately have the power to veto if we so choose. There will be teachers that we might not like - or might not like us. Tasks that may be difficult. Experiences that might be scary. Kids that may - or more likely will - bully. 

The day she was born - instantly in love

My fears about elementary school are deeply rooted in my own experiences. I was a fat kid. A smart fat kid. A smart fat kid who was nice to everyone and had strange fashion sense. I was teased relentlessly because of my weight and messy hair. Kids asked me in secret to help them with their homework, but laughed at me in front of others. I let their words get to me and each year my opinion of myself slipped a little lower.

Me: The awkward years made more awkward next to my sister in her "cute as a button" phase

It is this history that fills me with trepidation when I think of my daughter starting kindergarten. Each day the words I have have tried to pass on to her - you are smart, you are kind, you are beautiful in every way - risk being lost as the new people in her life pass on their own words. Instead of a gentle whisper in her ear at bedtime, I want my words to become a roar that echoes in her ears. My mom did her best to do this for me and it kept me afloat.

My princess on her 5th birthday pretending to be Olaf

That is why summer means so much to me this year. I don't want to waste a single opportunity to build her up so that she's harder to knock down. I want my daughter's days to be filled with so much love, happiness, and validation that she radiates confidence when she walks through that classroom door in September. 

Don't Walk...Run!

Last month my posts were all about the food changes I challenged myself to make. Six weeks later, I've hit my first rough patch. There have been significant changes at home and my work schedule was rough this week. I was doing early rounds at the hospital and attenting late meetings or events most nights. I allowed gluten and more sugar to creep back into my diet. The consequence? Poor sleep, low energy, breakouts in my skin, and the return of my daily stomach pains. 

I'm resolving right now to put an end to it. I felt too good the past month to go back in this direction. Right now I'm going gluten free and refined sugar free again - indefinitely. 

On a more positive note, two months ago I decided I was going to start running. This was HUGE for me because I've never even been able to run a mile without wanting to die. Multiple times I've tried (and failed) to become a runner. I tried to run around the high school track with my friend in our teens and quit because I was so much slower than she was. I tried to do the "Couch to 5K" plan in college and decided my time was better spent studying. I planned to do a 5K mud run last fall with my cousin and could barely finish on race day due to lack of preparation. Each failed attempt re-affirmed my belief that I was incapable of running.

I really can't pinpoint what was different this time, but I've really been sticking to it. My goal has been to run every other day and I've mostly been able to keep it up. And when I haven't, and two or three days have lapsed, I haven't given up! I'm not fast and I'm building my distance gradually, but I've never felt more in control of my body. Huge success!

Food Challenge

The entire past six months have been a whirlwind. Between the emotional drain of selling and moving out of our first house, the anxiety associated with "home" hopping from apartments to family homes, and the stress of shifting work hours I've felt like I was a mess. I've professed it many times before on this blog, but I'll repeat it again - I am an emotional eater. The roller coaster of our life saw me eating all the time. Sometimes I felt like I was eating just because food was something familiar in the midst of so much upheaval. It is an absolute miracle that I did not really gain weight during all this craziness - I basically fluctuated up and down the same 5-10 pounds.

About a month ago (just as I was pushing through my final preparations for bug's 5th birthday celebration), I decided something had to change. I was drinking 4+ cups of coffee per day, struggling to prepare meals, forgetting to pack my lunch for work (and eating junk), getting cranky with my kids, not making any time to exercise, and feeling really down on myself.

Then, inspiration came in the form of a pack of vitamin supplements from Trader Joe's. The box advertised a two week "Total Body Cleanse", but I think that gives the wrong impression. Most cleanses you read about suggest you do strange things like drink massive quantities of water or only eat one specific food or take supplements that make you go to the bathroom a million times a day to "clean out" your colon. This wasn't at all like that. The suggestions on the box were to "drink plenty of water", "reduce your intake of processed foods, simple carbohydrates, beef, pork, dairy, wheat and soy products", and "avoid caffeine, alcohol, sugar, potatoes, saturated fats, trans fats, and artificial sweeteners."

I'm not a nutrition expert, but I'm a smart girl. And I know all those suggestions are pretty basic thoughts on eating a well rounded diet. I decided I was done pretending I was eating well by following these rules 75% of the day and then eating junk the other 25%. I was actually going to do it. I was in all the way. I was going to get it all out of my system (sugar, caffeine, gluten, alcohol, processed foods, etc!), keep it out of my system, and see how I felt about things when the two weeks were up.

For 14 days I took the supplements from Trader Joe's. I didn't feel any side effects or really any effects at all from these. Maybe they helped, maybe not. I completely eliminated caffeine, alcohol, refined sugar, processed foods, and gluten from my diet. I decreased my consumption of animal protein significantly. I stopped eating all dairy the first week and started having yogurt again the second week.

If you are interested in replicating my plan and want to know what I was eating, I'd advise you to refer back to the blog posts I made while I was doing the cleanse because I kept a complete food diary including meals, snacks, and drinks.
Days 1-4
Days 5-7
Days 8-10
Days 11-14

Today I'm going to share my general comments, conclusions, and results.

• The first few days of the cleanse SUCKED. After reading Wheat Belly (more on this book in another post) I am pretty certain everything I was going through was wheat withdrawal. I had headaches, body aches, extreme fatigue, and zero exercise tolerance. The best way I can describe it was a vague, generalized yuckiness like I was coming down with the flu (without any runny nose or cough). 
• After the third day, I started to feel normal again. Except it wasn't my usual "normal", it was BETTER. 
• I had energy and didn't need coffee to start my day. 
• I didn't wake up starving like usual - in fact, I often didn't even eat anything until a few hours after I was up because my stomach wasn't grumbling and empty. 
• I was nervous that eating vegetables, eggs, fruits, and nuts would leave me starving a few hours later. I soon found I was actually LESS hungry than if I ate toast, cereal, or another typical "breakfast" food.
• I found myself feeling more satisfied after eating smaller nutrient dense meals than I would after eating a huge portion of spaghetti and meatballs with Italian bread and butter - one of my favorite meals previously. 
• Obviously I was eating more vegetables, but I also started eating a lot more fresh herbs and using more spices to give flavor to my food naturally. 
• Everything tasted better because I was paying attention to my food, not shoveling it in my face because my blood sugars were crashing.
• The money I was "saving" by not hitting up fast food, coffee shops, or takeout I could funnel into higher quality meats and produce.
• After the initial decrease in exercise tolerance, I had a huge burst of motivation to start working out more often. I think a huge part of this was that I was no longer having crazy oscillations in my blood sugars from eating too much wheat and sugar which would leave me feeling too "sick" to exercise.
• Prior to this change I never was able to work out after eating because I was always too full and felt like I would throw up. This severely limited the times that I could exercise due to my busy schedule and kept me from getting the workouts I wanted and needed.
• I didn't get a single headache or stomachache after the first three days. I always considered it a "minor inconvenience", but prior to making these changes mild stomach aches and discomfort were a normal part of my day

All the things I described above are AWESOME and proof that making healthy changes can have a huge impact, but they were all internal mind shifts. I am sure everyone is wondering what the actual physical changes were, so here they are:

• Multiple people (aware or not of the diet changes I was making) commented that my skin looked great and asked if I was using new cosmetics.
• I always considered that I was an "unlucky person" with mild adult acne, but I haven't had a single pimple since changing my diet.
• I didn't take a waist or thigh measurement (I wish now that I did), but I dropped 1-2 pant sizes depending on the cut and store.
• My stomach feels and looks noticeably slimmer. Unfortunately,I have a lot more ab work to do now to tighten up post-baby belly because the fat "filling it out" is gone.
• The final verdict was a weight loss of 9 pounds over the two week period.

Since finishing the cleanse I have definitely liberalized some of the restrictions, but really have no desire to go back to the way I was before. I feel better about my relationship with food than I ever have in my whole life and it's pretty amazing. I'll be posting a full update soon, so please check back if you want to hear more!

The Home Stretch

Just a few more hours to go before my "cleanse" is over and I'm really excited. Not excited so I can indulge and go back to my old ways, but because I feel great and have learned a lot about my body. It's a really wonderful feeling.

As I recap the last few days, let me remind you what the goals of my cleanse were:

• Daily Trader Joe's Total Body Cleanse supplements
• No caffeine
• No alcohol
• No refined sugar
• No gluten
• No processed or pre-packaged foods
• Try to eat at least 50% of my diet as raw foods

Day 11 - 5/8

Today was a rough emotional day for me. A little over a year ago my practice was absorbed into a larger health care system. A few (huge) benefits of this were a brand new, larger office space and the hire of my new nurse. My nurse couldn't be any more perfect of a fit for me (she loves Phish, shops at Trader Joe's and the local co-op, and is incredibly sweet to our patients) and I am so happy with my new office. The downside is dealing with layers and layers of corporate administration whenever something is wrong. Unfortunately for me, the thing that has been wrong multiple times is my pay. I discovered another error on Thursday and (as usual) was unable to reach the person I needed to talk to. I felt really powerless and frustrated. Normally an afternoon like this would end with me sitting in a pile of candy and Taco Bell wrappers hyped up on caffeine from a sweeter-than-I-usually-drink coffee from Starbucks feeling horrible. But it didn't this time. It didn't even enter my mind. Wow.

Breakfast - Smoothie (blueberries, organic whole milk yogurt, banana, chia seeds, water to blend), hard boiled egg

Lunch - Leftover Asian Salad with honey lime dressing topped with raw cashews

Snack - Pear

Dinner - Homemade steak gyros (steak, cucumbers, tomatoes) on corn tortillas with homemade tzatziki sauce and corn on the cob

Snack - herbal tea, small bite of homemade energy bars (I'll post my recipe soon!)

Day 12 - 5/9

Today was a much better day. I never got an answer to my pay question, but at least got in touch with the right person to discuss the problem. This evening was my first challenge with eating out at a restaurant. My monthly book club met at an Italian restaurant (like hardest place to find food fitting my rules!). I was hoping for an entree salad, but there wasn't anything like that on the menu so I went for the best option I could and boxed up half of the meal to bring home to my husband. It was definitely the richest meal I've eaten since starting my cleanse (and I enjoyed every bite), but I wasn't tempted to overindulge on liquor or dessert.

Breakfast - Smoothie (blueberries, organic whole milk yogurt, banana, chia seeds, water to blend), homemade energy bar (dates, cashews, and sunflower seeds)

Snack - Herbal tea, raw cashews

Lunch - Chicken breast roasted with tomatoes, green vegetables in walnut pesto (purchased from the hot food bar at the Honest Weight Co-op and elderberry Kombucha

Snack - Pear

Dinner - Garden salad with house made Italian dressing on the side (it was delicious, but as I didn't know what was in it, I only used a very small amount) and chicken picatta with roasted potatoes and green beans

I went for a short 3/4 mile jog to my in-laws house to meet my husband and the girls.

Day 13 - 5/10

Today was supposed to be rainy, but turned out gorgeous! I went for a jog in the late morning (my best effort yet) and got to enjoy some real quality time with my family

Breakfast - Two egg omelette full of veggies (spinach, red peppers, and mushrooms) topped with chopped tomato (I shared with baby bear who LOVES tomatoes and apparently cooked spinach)

Snack - Pear

Lunch - Chopped lettuce, cucumbers, cabbage, and tomatoes with leftover tzatziki sauce

Snack - Homemade energy bar

Dinner - Baby spinach salad with red cabbage, sweet potatoes, and avocado

I went for my usual 1.8 mile walk/jog talking only a short walk break and jumping right back into it. I think on my next run I might make it the whole distance! I finished up with abs and arms as usual.

Day 14 - 5/11 Mother's Day!!
Today was a fabulous day with my family. My husband got up early and put the baby bear back to bed with me and he and the bug let me sleep. Bug even had Daddy make me a hard boiled egg for breakfast because she knows I like them, how sweet! We started our day off with breakfast, pictures, and tons of play at a gorgeous town park. Then, we came home and the girls relaxed a bit while I put the finishing touches on a few dishes to share at Mother's Day dinner. We spent the rest of the day at my in-law's house with our extended family. My mom is still in Florida so we only got to see her on Facetime, but it was better than nothing!Overall, it was a very relaxing day and I didn't spend a second worrying about food.

Breakfast - Hard boiled egg, homemade energy bar, and Starbucks iced coffee (this was my mother's day "cheat" and it was totally worth it!)
Lunch - Organic "power greens" mix and leftover chicken chili with avocado/organic yogurt mashed together
Snack - Blackberries
Dinner - Grilled chicken, grilled portabellas, salad greens, curried quinoa salad, moroccan carrot salad, and fruit salad (honeydew, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries)

The Middle

Something surprising is happening with this cleanse. After last week that started off rough (headaches, body aches, and extreme fatigue), I don't even feel like I'm on a "diet". I feel completely normal. Actually, BETTER than normal. I feel empowered - like I finally am winning a battle with food I've been losing my whole life. Food isn't my comfort when something goes wrong. Or my reward for accomplishing something. Or my enemy - sneaking it's way into my stomach and "making" me fat. Food is JUST food. I still enjoy eating immensely, but I'm slowly unfurling myself from the emotional connections I've wrapped myself up in over the years. It feels amazing.

This is the start of week two. I'm introducing yogurt back into my diet this week, but holding off on any other dairy. I don't think I have any issues tolerating moderate amounts of milk, cheese, and other dairy products in my diet, but I've been feeling so well that I don't want to tip the scales against me. Especially because I've lost the "I need it!" feeling I was having about cheese last week...

Day 8 - 5/5

Totally uneventful day. The weather was nice and I took a trip to the local co-op on my lunch break. I haven't been to the co-op since it moved (because I get nervous about trying to go places when I don't really know where they are because I get lost easily) and I was very impressed. Now that I know the extent of their bulk supplies (and how to get there) I will definitely be going there more often. Seeing so many healthful choices really motivated me further that I'm on the right path.

Breakfast - Smoothie (frozen blueberries, whole milk yogurt, banana, chia seeds, and water to blend), hard boiled egg

Snack - herbal tea

Lunch - Raw veggies (carrot, celery, cucumber, snap peas), raw mixed nuts, Ginger Kombucha

Snack - herbal tea

Dinner - Honey soy marinated salmon on a bed of diced cucumbers and chopped baby spinach

Snack - Apple

I went for a 1.8 mile walk/run. I finally settled into a decent pace with this run, but was interrupted by a page because I was on call. Afterwards, I repeated the arms and abs workouts.

Day 9 - 5/6

Today was very slow at the office which used to be dangerous, but I didn't feel the urge to snack at all. I used the down time to catch up on a few CME (Continuing Medical Education) articles and to read the new book I borrowed from the library, Wheat Belly. I was going to try and squeeze in another run, but had too much work to do preparing two batches of crockpot chicken taco chili and a big pan of Reese's brownies for teacher and nurse appreciation days.

Breakfast - Smoothie (frozen blueberries, avocado, whole milk yogurt, chia seeds, water to blend), hard boiled egg

Snack - herbal tea, raw mixed nuts

Lunch - Grape tomato, cucumber, basil salad with olive oil/balsamic vinegar

Dinner - Chipotle burrito bowl (brown rice, pinto beans, barbacoa, mild salsa, corn salsa, avocado) in lettuce wraps

Snack - spearmint tea, grapefruit

Day 10 - 5/7

Today was the first day I stepped on the scale and didn't see any weight loss since I started the cleanse. I'm holding off revealing numbers about my weight loss until the end, but I've been steadily losing weight since I started. I immediately felt discouraged, which scared me. In the past I have done great on "diets" as long as I was losing weight, but gave up immediately as soon as I plateaued. I had to remind myself that this isn't a diet. This is me taking control of food, and by extension, my life. I should not be continuing to lose weight this fast and it needs to slow down. And I feel amazing. Crisis over. 

Breakfast - Hard boiled egg, peanut butter (I made these brownies for my nurses and consoled myself that I couldn't eat any by licking the PB off the spoon after adding it to the frosting)

Snack - Herbal tea, organic whole milk yogurt with blueberries, chia seeds, and raw cashews

Lunch - Baby spinach topped with chicken chili and a few blue corn tortilla chips

Snack - apple, raw cashews

Dinner - Asian salad (red cabbage, carrots, red pepper, red onion, cucumber, and black rice) with homemade honey lime dressing

Snack - herbal tea

I went for my usual 1.8 mile walk/jog. Each time I complete the loop I've been running a large portion of it as I build my endurance. I also ended the workout with abs and arms strength training.

The Journey Continues...

Three more days have passed and I've reached the middle of my cleanse. I'm going to try and hold back any major conclusions or discussion of pros and cons until the end of the two weeks, but I'm going to keep blogging my daily impressions and food and exercise plan.

Day 5 - 5/2

Today went smoothly. I didn't have any strong cravings for anything and just generally felt well. One of my co-workers commented that my skin looked great - compliments are always encouraging!

Breakfast - Banana, raw cashews

Snack - Herbal tea, grapefruit

Lunch - Green salad with asparagus and sprouts

Snack - Pear, herbal tea

Dinner - Baby spinach salad with tomatoes and avocado and Chia seed water

Day 6 - 5/3

This was my first day home while following the cleanse. In addition to turning down numerous bites of food my kids were eating, I also had to endure a kid's birthday party and a family get together at my in-laws' house. I really don't like having to explain diets to people and was stressed about making sure I could continue to follow my plan without dealing with awkward questions. Luckily the kid party was one of those parties where food is just provided for the kids so I didn't have to turn down pizza or cupcakes. At my in-laws we had a "make your own sandwich buffet" and everyone was watching a movie while we ate so I didn't have to explain my plate. I also made homemade hummus to bring so I was able to assure there was something I could eat.

Breakfast - Hard boiled egg, green apple

Snack - Raw cashews

Lunch - Leftover Quinoa Thai Salad

Snack - Cucumber slices

Dinner - Carrots, cucumbers, pea pods, and celery with homemade roasted red pepper hummus and "salad" with lettuce, tomatoes, and avocado

Snack - Banana and pear slices, organic peanut butter 

I went for a short jog/walk for 1.8 miles and repeated my arm and ab workout.

Day 7 - 5/4

Today was the first day on the cleanse without any plans or routine which was a little harder than I expected. The other hard part was being out doing my usual errands, but not taking my usual trip through the Starbucks drive-thru. Part of me feels empowered that I don't feel like I *need* caffeine anymore, but I really love the taste of coffee and will be glad to welcome it back into my diet next week. 

Breakfast - Poached egg over spinach and basil with grape tomatoes

Snack - Raw veggies with homemade hummus

Lunch - Leftover Quinoa Thai Salad

Dinner - Baby spinach salad with a small portion of pork "carnitas" with homemade pineapple salsa (pineapple, diced apple, cilantro, red onion, and lime juice)

Food Cleansing

I bet you expected my next post to be MORE party details, but I tricked you! Today I'm all about kick-starting my nutrition and exercise goals. I'm really using blog posting as more of a journal/motivational tool for myself, but you all can come along for the ride if you're interested.

I've been flirting with real food for awhile, but I've also been quick to stray back to old ways. I'll admit my overall diet today is still better than it was five years ago, but that really isn't saying all THAT much. In the past I relied far too heavily on fast food and processed food to get through my busy schedule. I think allowing myself to still have some of these foods on a daily basis was really sabotaging my efforts. I decided I really needed to "detox" from all the bad and give my body a chance to recover and reboot. Which brings me to...

My 14 Day Real Food/Raw Food Challenge
*This is based on so many different things I've read and watched, but does not follow one specific set of rules from any one source. This is 100% my challenge to myself - some of the ideas probably are evidence based, but I am not endorsing this in any type of medical way. This is just my journey (I hope!) to better nutrition.*

My plan is to cut out all processed foods, refined sugar, gluten, and alcohol and to cut down on dairy and animal protein. I'm intending to essentially eliminate dairy the first week and slowly introduce some back in next week. I'm also taking the Trader Joe's Total Body Cleanse vitamins to accompany my life changes.

Day 1 - 4/28
The first day was rough. I developed a horrible caffeine withdrawal headache mid-morning that continued to get worse as the day went on. By the time I got home I felt like I had a tight rubber band wrapped around my head. I also felt extremely exhausted, weak, and achy. I'm not sure if it was the change in diet, the headache, or the fact that I was so tired from bug's birthday party over the weekend but I could barely keep my eyes open driving home from work. I haven't felt that tired since residency! I went to bed before 8pm that night.

Food and Exercise Review
Breakfast - Banana and raw almonds
Snack - Red pepper slices and baby carrots with herbal tea
Lunch - Cucumber, tomato, avocado, parsley, and cilantro with lemon juice
Snack - Pear and herbal tea
Dinner - Sweet potato and avocado topped with tomato, cucumber, cilantro salsa and Chia strawberry lemon water

No exercise today! I was WAY too exhausted

Day 2 - 4/29
The second day wasn't perfect, but was much easier. I only had a mild headache during the day and didn't have any problem sticking to my food plan during the day. My first test came that evening when I picked up my very sick little bug from her grandparent's house and had to come home and cook dinner. The bug had a fever and was miserable and the little bear was her usual unruly dinnertime self (scream for food, shove as much food in her face as fast as she can, demand to get down from the table). I was very tempted to give up the attempt to cook, but took a few deep breaths, got everyone settled, and pushed through dinner prep. I was exhausted early again and started dozing off around 8:30. It was with extreme effort that I stayed up later to chat with my husband.

Food and Exercise Review
Breakfast - Green apple and raw cashews
Snack - Pear and herbal tea
Lunch - Zucchini hummus with celery and baby carrots
Snack - Herbal tea
Dinner - Cod, wilted spinach, roasted green beans, and black rice with Chia lemon water
Snack - Carrots, celery, and banana slices with organic peanut butter

No exercise again, still laying low and letting my body adjust.

Day 3 - 4/30
By the third day I was over the caffeine withdrawal headaches and the exhaustion was getting better. I slept wrong and had a searing low backache all day which made everything more frustrating, but I stuck with my plan without too much difficulty. I did get hungry in the evening and needed to eat a bigger snack. This was really the first time I felt "hungry".

Food and Exercise Review
Breakfast - Green apple and hard boiled egg
Snack - Raw cashews, herbal tea
Lunch - Kale salad with red pepper, cucumber, avocado, and lemon juice
Snack - Pear, herbal tea
Dinner - Baked sweet potato and diced avocado topped with red cabbage, red pepper, cilantro, and scallion "slaw" with apple cider vinegar dressing and Chia lemon water
Snack - Frozen blueberries and organic peanut butter

The only exercise I did was household chores - up and down the stairs about a dozen times washing and folding laundry

Day 4 - 5/1 
Today I felt great when I woke up. I was up early to sign my bug up for the before/after-school program and had to round at the hospital. Being in the hospital brought out some STRONG cravings for coffee (literally 90% of the people that walked by me had a coffee cup in their hands), but I got through it by stopping at the store for a new box of herbal tea on my way to the office.

Food and Exercise Review
Breakfast - Green apple and raw cashews
Snack - Herbal tea
Lunch - Grapefruit
Snack - Pear and cherry tomatoes
Dinner - Chicken and Quinoa Thai Salad (modified dressing to remove anything processed) with Chia lime water

I finally felt like I had enough energy today to get back into the swing of things with exercise. I went for a short 1.6 mile walk/jog outside and followed it up with an arm workout and an ab workout.

Frozen Party: Making it happen

I wanted to dedicate a separate post to giving lots of tips on how I put together the details for my bug's 5th birthday party. I know Frozen parties are BIG right now and I hope my tips can help save other busy moms some time trying to figure out all the picky details on their own.

Finding Frozen merchandise is not for the weak of heart

Frozen merchandise is nearly impossible to find. I managed to get my bug the pictured Elsa doll/dress set during a random trip to Target. My best advice is to walk through the toy section of Target (I hate Walmart, but did try them too and never found anything) as often as you can. Doing this I managed to snag this gift set, a snow globe wand that plays "Let it Go", and a small Elsa figurine.

Turn portraits and paintings into party decor!

A simple way to decorate at home is to turn pictures that are already hanging into party decor. I covered a large painting that was over the fireplace with an inexpensive plastic tablecloth and paper snowflakes. The tablecloth can be saved and reused for a future party to reduce waste:-)

Hanging decor creates an impressive "centerpiece" when you don't have much room on your table

If you know your theme ahead of time, you can collect items on sale to save money. These lanterns, pom-poms, and hanging twirls were all purchased from Hobby Lobby on sale. The twirls were "Christmas clearance" at 90% off and the other decor were from the wedding section during a 50% off sale. These were hung using the easy to remove tabs from Command.

This falling snow creates a dramatic effect for a small cost

Using invisible thread I strung white pom poms (but you could easily use cotton balls!) and placed them at different heights to give the illusion of falling snow. The larger snowflakes were purchased from the wedding section at Hobby Lobby during a 50% off sale ($5 for 25 snowflakes). To save money, make paper snowflakes or find clearance items after the holidays.

Turn an easy cheese ball recipe into an impressive Olaf replica

The make ahead cheese ball recipe I created was incredibly simple:

1. Soften two 8oz bars of regular cream cheese and one 8oz bar of reduced fat cream cheese on the counter for a few hours.
2. Mix all of the softened cream cheese in a large bowl with one packet of ranch dip mix and 4oz of shredded sharp white cheddar. I shred my own cheese because I don't like the consistency of pre-shredded cheese because of the anti-caking agents they add.
3. Chill the mixture overnight or for several hours until firm.
4. Create two small balls for feet (I used a Pamper Chef 1 inch cookie scoop), a large and smaller ball for the body, and an oval for his head. I wrapped each piece separately in plastic wrap and then placed them all on a plate and covered again with plastic wrap. Freeze until the morning of your party. 
5. Right before the party, assemble Olaf. I am going to make a second one for bug's kid party and will post a separate tutorial on Olaf's assembly in a few weeks. 

These cute milk bottles play double duty as a dessert table decoration

I love the way fancy milk bottles look for parties, but hate the cost. I also hate how much milk gets wasted when the kids take them because they look cool, but only drink a few ounces of milk. For these reasons, I decided I wasn't going to make them. Then, I stumbled upon these bud vases on sale at Michael's. They only cost me 40 cents apiece and hold 3-4 oz of milk. Perfect! I cropped a photo of Olaf to just include his face, printed on a regular color printer, and then glued these onto paper straws (from the dollar bins at Target). I glued the black pom poms on with hot glue.

Fun way to display treats

I used this same cupcake stand last year (which my mom purchased from a craft store using a coupon) to display "wisps" for our Brave themed party. The treat this year was hot cocoa muddy buddy mix. Recipe can be found here.

Snowball and snowflake cookies complete a perfectly frosty dessert display

The vanilla meringues were purchased from Trader Joe's ($3.99 for a decent size container) and the cookies were homemade. I purchased snowflake cookie cutters on clearance after the holidays and used my mom's sugar cookie recipe. After reading many blogs for advice to prevent the cookies from spreading, I omitted all baking powder/baking soda from the recipe and made sure to chill the cut dough in the freezer for at least twenty minutes before baking.

I made the cookies ahead of time and stored them (un-frosted) in the freezer until the week of the party. Two days before the party I took the cookies out and used this small batch recipe for royal icing to outline and flood the cookies. The next day I made a second batch to pipe on the details. I kept them stored in an air-tight container until the party.

This impressive, but easy to assemble Frozen cake is a show stopper!

The first step in creating this cake is making all of the snowflakes to embellish the cake. I used a coupon to purchase a small package of Wilton white fondant at 40% off. I used the snowflake cookie cutters for the larger flakes and a set of flower fondant punches from Hobby Lobby for the smaller flakes. I left them out on a cooling rack for 24 hours to harden. I embellished the flakes with larger teal pearls, mini white pearls, and the same royal icing I used to decorate the sugar cookies.

Two days day before the party I used two box mixes (I know, I hate them too. I replaced the oil with melted butter for a more homemade flavor) to bake three layers of cake (6, 8, and 10 inch Wilton pans). They need to cool completely before you frost!

The day before the party I made 2 batches of this buttercream that I piped on using a Wilton 2D tip. Once all the frosting was piped I sprinkled the cake with white sanding sugar for sparkle and added my hardened fondant decorations and extra teal pearls.

I will have more details on Frozen party activities coming up in a few weeks after the bug's friend party, so check back then if you are hungry for more!

Frozen Party

My bug is five (FIVE!) years old now. I'll spare you a bunch of cheesy comments about "time flying" and feeling like it was "just yesterday that she was born". The truth is that some days being her mom have been amazing and others have been really, really hard. Even on our worst days, I love her with all of my heart. This year I had a blast planning a Frozen themed birthday party to celebrate what a special little girl she is to me.

Thanks to the internet and Pinterest I've been researching ideas for her party for months. I thought it would be fun this year to share "inspiration" versus "actual" photos of our party details. I'll fill in a few more details and post larger photos in a separate post later this week.

I really wanted to share these photos early, check back later this week for tutorials, recipes, etc! As always, I hope my work inspires someone else out there!

Happy Birthday Mom

My mom's birthday was actually last month. In the month prior to her birthday and the entire month after her birthday I've been trying to think of the perfect gift. In the past I've given her jewelry, photos of the girls, clothing, gift cards - all the usual "mom" gifts. And after living in her house for the past few months I could think of plenty of *stuff* to give her. But for some reason that really just doesn't feel like enough this year.

Why is it so hard? It's not something specific she did. Or something she said. Or really any one thing at all. It's that it just hit me. I'm a 31 year old woman living a parallel life to the one my mother must have lived 25 years ago. Sure, there are some obvious differences. I work out of the home, my mom babysat at home. My dad worked long hours and rarely helped with cooking or cleaning and left the majority of the parenting responsibilities to my mom. My husband neglects much (but not all) of the household work, but is 100% my full time partner in parenting. Money is slightly less of an issue for me than it was for my mom.

But if you throw out the details, the core of our everyday lives is too similar to ignore. Raising two little girls, trying to be a good wife, working hard, and going to bed exhausted. And the heartbreaking fact of it all - what I think has been keeping me up at night -  is that the vast majority of these earliest efforts at motherhood will go unremembered and without thanks.

Now that I am on the other side of the equation, I feel like the number of things I want to thank my mother for could fill volumes. The amount of gratitude I feel seems like it couldn't possibly be expressed through anything you'd find at the mall. So today I am presenting my mother with my genuine thanks for all those things she thought were forgotten.

To My Mom,

Thank you for getting up early, even when you wanted to sleep for two more hours.
Thank you for making me breakfast and talking me down from the edge when there wasn't any more of my favorite cereal left and I had to settle on something else.
Thank you for doing the laundry so I had clean clothes to wear every day. And thank you for biting your tongue when I put ridiculous outfits together.
Thank you for putting my toys away eight times a day as I left a trail of destruction behind me on my quest to have fun.
Thank you for listening with rapt attention to my long winded nursery school stories about nothing that I forgot the point of halfway through.
Thank you for not killing me when I threw a tantrum about nothing and wouldn't stop screaming for twenty minutes.
Thank you for grocery shopping with me and having to explain over and over again why we did need frozen vegetables and did not need frosted animal crackers.
Thank you for finding a way to make holidays magical even when you were tired, stressed, and couldn't really afford all the things you wanted me to have.
Thank you for spending hours decorating beautiful cakes for my birthday parties.
Thank you for making family vacations special. They might not have always been what you wanted, but were what we could afford and you made the best of it.
Thank you for playing silly games with me when you would rather have laid on the couch and gone to sleep.
Thank you for staying up all night when I was sick with painful ear infections.
Thank you for cooking me dinner every night, even when I told you it was gross and refused to eat it.
Thank you for reading me the same books over and over at bedtime even when you hated them.
Thank you for never getting a sound night's sleep because you were constantly on the alert for my nightmares, sleepwalking, and sleep talking.
Thank you for being willing to do it all over again so I could have a sister.

Thank you for all of this and so much more.

Let it Go

I can hardly believe this, but my bug's 5th birthday is just over a week away!! Which means right now is party planning crunch time! Things always become stressful around now because I get overenthusiastic and try to do too much. In addition to keeping up with the normal routine of being a full time pediatrician, raising two monsters beautiful children, preventing the destruction of my parents' house, stressing over the building of our new house, getting back to the gym (at last!), and feeding us all, squeezing in time to plan adorable goodie bags for 20+ kids with a quirky theme is challenging.

Obviously no one is holding a gun to my head to do anything. It's just that planning a party brings together theme-ing, crafting, decorating, food, and baking which are seriously some of my favorite things. I find it very hard to hold back sometimes because I get SO EXCITED when I find a fun idea. The problem with the internet and Pinterest is that I find too many fun ideas and then I get too busy and lose sight of what my goal really is - enjoying my hobbies and creating fun for my girls.

That is the inspiration for my post today - finding balance. I'm not going to throw it all out the window as some cheeky blogs are telling me I should. I think it's rude and judge-y to say what I'm doing is all fluff and doesn't matter just because it doesn't matter to you. Honestly, when you get right down to it, isn't that attitude really just more of the same? Instead of "I'm a better parent than you because I had a cupcake station at my kid's party", it's "I'm a better parent because I didn't have to make a cupcake station." For me, I'm letting go of the bad stuff and keeping the things that mean something to me. I hope I can inspire more overly stressed mamas out there to embrace what they love and let the rest go.

Today, I'm letting go of...

• Cooking myself into a frenzy
• Spending a fortune in time and money replicating every party blog detail just because I saw it when I don't love it
• Having to decorate everything! I'm focusing on my dessert table - because it's my favorite thing!
• Having too much to do the day of the party so I miss things
• Hating myself when I can't do it all - this applies to party planning, parenting, and LIFE

Frozen Day 4 - Tutu photo tutorial!

So when I started my "5 days of Frozen" I intended it to be five consecutive days. Seriously, I have no idea how I thought that was going to happen. Life is just too crazy for a working mama with two kids under the age of five to really expect enough free time FIVE DAYS IN A ROW to accomplish anything more than keeping everyone alive. In my defense, I did create the two pretty sweet Anna and Elsa tutus you're about to read all about. They are actually really easy to make and I finished each one with just a few hours of mindless work after the girls went to bed.

Without further ado, here is my photo tutorial...

Step 1: Measure the waist of your birthday girl/princess/monster child. I was ready to start my little one's tutu when she was napping, so I based her waist measurement on a pair of pants I knew fit her well. Whatever your measurement is, subtract 1-2 inches (1 for a smaller tutu, 2 for a bigger one) before cutting your elastic. You do this because the elastic gets stretched as you tie the tulle. Trust me. If you don't subtract some length, the tutu won't fit!

Step 2: Overlap the ends of your elastic by ~1 inch and sew. You can use a machine or do it by hand like I did. I like to fully secure the elastic ends by sewing a square.

Step 3: Measure and cut your tulle. I used 25 yard rolls of tulle in different colors from Hobby Lobby. The amount you will need depends on how full you want to make your tutu. For my older daughter I used two full rolls and about 1/2 of a roll of glitter tulle added as an accent. I measured by using a rigid mailing envelope to wrap a large amount of tulle around and then cut one end to create many strips with one cut. For the bigger tutu I wrapped the long way around the envelope and the opposite for the smaller one (I was making the smaller one in this tutorial).

Step 4: Start tying the tulle. Fold the tulle in half and create a loop. Place the loop behind the elastic. Pull the loose ends up and through the loop. Pull just until the loop is wrapped around the elastic with the loose ends pointing down. How tight you make the knot (and how close together you squeeze the pieces of tulle) will determine how full your tutu is at the end.

Step 5: Keep tying! Repeat step 4 until the entire elastic band is covered.

Step 6: Once the entire band is covered, you can add more tulle on top of the first row if you want to make it fuller. This was really hard to capture a photo of, but basically you just add another loop between pre-existing loops and don't pull it as tight allowing it to lay on top of your base layer of tulle. I also did this on my Elsa tutu with the glitter tulle that I added at the end.

Step 7: Add on any embellishments you want! I didn't add anything to the little bear's tutu because I didn't want her to be enticed to pull it apart, but I did sew on some snowflake ribbon I purchased after Christmas for my bug's tutu. Other add-on ideas include a big bow, ribbons, or sequins.

FYI: The shirts were made by a local small business RyleighRoo

Frozen Birthday Party Sneak Peek!

As per my usual routine I start hoarding birthday party supplies as soon as we decide on a theme. Although Maddie's birthday falls in the spring, I've had all winter to look for snowflakes and glittery icicle items. I was even able to get some great deals after Christmas and will be able to take advantage of my father-in-law's extensive Christmas lawn decoration collection to set the scene.

Here are the supplies I will be working with over the next month to put together a Frozen celebration worthy of a princess...

Can you guess what I'm doing with all these supplies? Or what items will never actually make it to the party?


Here's a sneak peek at my custom made invitation...

For the first time in forrrrrever (good luck getting it out of your head now...) we're planning a separate adult family party and a kid/school friends party. Double planning, double the fun? We will see!

Love is an open door

The sentiment of this song is actually really sweet and not too sappy, but it's still not what REAL love is all about. I will say in Disney's defense that it might be difficult to make "I love you even when you smell like baby vomit" melodically appealing though. After 15+ years of dating, 7 years of marriage, 2 cats, and 2 children here is what I think love is really all about.

Love is being there. You might not be showered or wearing "real clothes". You might be older or heavier than you were when you first met. You might be suffering from mental, physical, or emotional stress that has altered how you even see yourself. But when you really love someone you are still there. Day in and day out. By their side. Wrinkles, graying hair, ill-fitting pants and all.

Love is laughing together. In your younger days the laughter might have been over a comedy at the movies or while sharing stories of childhood adventures. Now it's often over who changes the most poopy diapers (me, hands down) or the latest ridiculous thing the four year old said ("Your private parts are nice, mommy" on walking in on me getting out of the shower this morning...). The point is, keep smiling, laughing, and finding joy in things together.

Love is growing together. We are all always changing. For most of us the changes are slow, subtle, and happen so indistinctly that we don't realize we've even changed until we look back at where we were and see how far we've come. Truly loving someone means making this journey with them rather than away from them.

Love is messy. It's not a fairy tale that starts at a ball and ends with happily ever after. It's ups and downs. Love can fill you with such happiness that you feel like you are literally about to burst. And sometimes love feels like the smallest flicker of light in the pit of your stomach on the brink of snuffing out completely. Even on those darkest days true love is there, part of you, just waiting for you to take a deep breath and feed the flame.

Love is accepting yourself as someone worth loving. You can have SO MUCH love for your partner, but if you don't value the role you play in the love relationship things will never be as good as they could be. This most crucial point is where I personally have struggled the most (and still struggle at times). Put simply, love yourself so others can too!

So there you have it, Disney. Love is getting old and frumpy, changing poopy diapers, fighting the darkness within, and a whole lot of self-reflection. Good luck turning that into a musical ballad...

In Summer

Usually this is the time of year when it finally starts warming up in Upstate NY and we can look forward to Spring. About now it really doesn't feel like it's ever going to happen. There is still more than a few inches of snow covering the ground and the local weather is calling for a possible 6 inches of snow later this week.

Bug loves the snow, but mommy is SO over it!

In addition to being just plain yucky, all this frigid cold is preventing our builder from making any progress on the construction of our new house. Total bummer all around.

Where we thought we would have at least part of a house at this point...

In an effort to be optimistic (like the hilarious Olaf) I'm jotting down all the things I'm looking forward to when it's finally summer...

• Taking nature walks and hikes
• Our house (hopefully) being built 
• My parents coming home from Florida
• Chasing lightening bugs
• Trips to the lake
• Going outside without six layers of insulated clothing
• Seeing my girls play with their cousins on Cape Cod
• Grilling season
• Sand on my toes
• Farmer's Markets
• Visiting all the local ice cream stands
• Seeing Phish in an outdoor venue
• Iced coffee on a hot afternoon
• Swimming with my girls
• Campfires
• Sitting in the grass
• Sandals
• Local produce
• Picnics at the park
• Gin and Tonic by the pool
• Sunshine!

Keep thinking warm thoughts everyone, we'll get to enjoy all these things "in summer" before we know it!